A Brighter Shade of Blue
by SilenceintheLibrary13
Summary: **Sequel to Stay** Jane and Maura have left their jobs to focus on raising their children, but all is not perfect. Joe Harris's parents have learned that their son fathered a child before his death, and now they are desperate to be part of little Tori's life - against Jane and Maura's wishes. Can they finally escape the ghosts of their past?
1. Chapter 1

And if all your dreams come true,  
Do your memories still end up haunting you?  
Is there such a thing as really breaking through,  
To another day and a brighter shade of blue?

-Christine Kane, "She Don't Like Roses"

Chapter 1

Maura shivered a little in the September breeze as she waited outside her four-year-old daughter Tori's new school. She had started pre-k this month at a primary school she would attend through sixth grade, a small private school located in a converted brick row house similar to the one they lived in. Maura had been so relieved when the acceptance letter had arrived in the spring. It had been her first choice, a school with an excellent curriculum that was right there in Beacon Hill. Still, it was hard to get used to the idea of Tori going to school with all these bigger kids. Sometimes she missed her quaint little nursery school.

The school operated on a four-and-a-half day week, meaning they got out right after lunch on Fridays. It was just now noon, which meant children would be flooding the front steps of the stately old building any minute now, and there was already a cluster of parents and nannies outside, some with empty strollers, waiting for their children to come out.

Maura looked up when the doors opened and smiled when she saw Tori tumbling out amongst the other four-year-olds. She came marching out the door carrying her dinosaur lunchbox, wearing a black quilted Burberry jacket, grey knit stockings under her much-loved fire truck dress, and black suede ankle boots. Her honey blonde curls bounced on top of her red backpack, printed with a design of colored pencils. Her lively hazel eyes searched the crowd, and when she saw Maura, she broke into a grin.

"Mommy!" she called, running into Maura's arms. Maura scooped her up and held her close, inhaling the scent of her hair.

"How was your day, baby?" she asked, setting the little girl back down.

"It was good. We had art class today," Tori said, taking Maura's hand and skipping along beside her as they headed in the direction of their house. "You wanna know what I made?"

"What?" Maura asked, smiling. Art and science were Tori's favorite subjects.

"A penguin with ten eyes!"

"Ten eyes! Why did you give it so many eyes?"

"So it can see in every direction! That way, seals can't sneak up on it and eat it. But it can still watch its baby!"

"Oh, that's smart," said Maura with a little chuckle. She glanced down and saw Tori looking at something across the street, waving with her little hand.

"Who are you waving at?" Maura asked, following her gaze. She saw an elderly couple across the street, but they quickly turned away when they saw her looking. She thought she caught something familiar in the man's eyes, though…

Suddenly she felt icy fingers gripping her heart. "Come on, Tori. Mama's waiting for us." She picked Tori up and doubled her pace.

"Why are we in such a hurry?" Tori asked. "Are those people bad?"

"We don't know them, Tori, so you shouldn't have waved at them. We've told you not to talk to strangers."

"But I wasn't talking. I was waving. They waved at me first."

"Waving is a kind of talking, and they shouldn't have been waving at a little girl they don't know."

"I didn't_ know _waving was a kind of talking!"

Maura sighed, trying to keep her feelings in check for now. "You're not in trouble. It just scared me to see you waving at strangers."

"I won't do it again. Can you put me down now, please?"

"Not yet. We need to get home quickly."

Maura hurried down the maze of Beacon Hill streets in what suddenly seemed like a much longer walk than usual. She kept checking behind her, but there was no sign of the elderly couple. Finally she turned onto Chestnut Street and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her own house come into view. With one last glance to make sure they weren't being followed, she put Tori down and let her run up the steps to the front door.

They found Jane in the kitchen, sitting in front of 18-month-old Gianna's highchair, trying to get the toddler to finish her lunch. The sight of Gianna always melted Maura's heart. She looked like a miniature Jane with her headful of dark curls, her big, sweet brown eyes, and the dimples that appeared whenever she laughed. Right now, however, she was struggling to hold her eyes open, her head listing to the side.

"Someone's ready for a nap," Maura said with a smile.

"Yeah, just trying to get her to finish her food first," said Jane.

It was a constant worry with Gianna, unfortunately. They had discovered shortly after her birth that she had an atrial septal defect, a hole in her heart. Her pediatric cardiologist was monitoring it for now to see if it would close on its own, but Maura was worried. Her symptoms weren't improving. She was so small for her age, and she tired easily. Tori had been such a ball of energy at that age. If she didn't start showing improvement soon, she might need surgery.

"Hey, Gummy Bear," Jane said cheerfully. "How was school?"

"Great," said Tori, running into the kitchen after having deposited her coat, backpack, and shoes in the hall closet. "There were some old people watching me from across the street and when I looked at them, the lady smiled and waved. I waved back at her and Mommy said I shouldn't. She said waving at strangers is the same as talking to strangers."

"Well, I guess sometimes it is." Jane looked up at Maura, frowning. "Did you recognize the people?"

"No," said Maura, but the look in her eyes was enough to signal to Jane that there was more to the story.

"Were they picking up a child from the school?"

"No," Maura repeated. "They walked away when they saw me looking at them."

"Well then." Jane looked down at Tori. "Mommy was right that you shouldn't wave at those people. She's just trying to keep you safe, okay? Some grownups who don't have sweet little girls of their own will just snatch them up!" Her hand leaped out and grabbed Tori, pulling her close for a kiss. Tori giggled, and Maura was able to relax a little and laugh a bit herself.

"I'd better get this one upstairs. She's dozing in her carrots," Jane said, removing Gianna's bib and lifting her from the highchair.

"I'll clean up after her," Maura said, planting a kiss on Gianna's curly head. Tori went out to play in her treehouse in the backyard, and Maura felt grateful that their yard was surrounded by brick walls. No one would be spying on her back there, other than Maura.

"So, what's the deal with these creepy old people?" Jane asked when she came back downstairs.

Maura sighed, looking down. "I could be wrong," she said. "I only got a very quick glimpse before they turned away."

"You_ could _be wrong, but you almost never are. So what is it?"

Maura looked up nervously. "The man had the same eyes as Joe Harris."

Jane let out her breath. "Oh, Maura."

"Exactly the same. I felt like he was looking at me again." Maura shuddered. Joe Harris's eyes were something she would never forget, no matter how much she might want to. He had made ruthless eye contact while taunting her, playing mind games with her. He had even tried to stare into her eyes while he held her down and raped her. Five years later, those eyes still haunted her nightmares. She had been so relieved when Tori's eyes had turned hazel during her first year. It was difficult to believe that this brilliant, loving child had been fathered by that horrible man. It was much easier to imagine she had come from a sperm donor, like Gianna. Most people assumed she had.

"Hey. Joe Harris is dead. I killed him myself, and he will _never _look at you again." Jane crossed the room and pulled Maura into her arms.

"I know," said Maura. "But…what if…what if his parents have found out about Tori somehow?"

"How would they find out?"

"I don't know. There are lots of possible ways. They looked late sixties to early seventies to me, which is the right age to be his parents, and Tori said they just stood there looking at her, and the lady waved, so she waved back. As soon as I looked at them, they turned around and walked away. It's like they came there to look for her. The school does put the schedule on its website, so they would know when to come."

"I'll look into it, okay? I'll have Nina look Harris's parents up."

Maura nodded. "Maybe next week, we should go together to pick her up from school."

"That's a good idea. If I see these fuckers, I'm gonna go talk to them."

"I don't know if it's a good idea to stir up trouble with them…"

"If they're stalking my little girl, I'm gonna talk to them. I am not going to have those people thinking they can come anywhere near my daughter."

Maura relaxed a little inside. She always felt safer with Jane nearby. She wasn't a cop anymore, and she no longer carried a gun, but she was still fierce – and she had proven more than once in the past that she could defend herself and her loved ones with or without a gun.

Maura's phone rang, and she looked at the screen. "It's Shawna, from the rape crisis center," she remarked, stepping into the hall as she answered.

"Hey, Maura," came the familiar voice. Although they hadn't talked in some time, Shawna had run the art therapy class Maura had taken at the center, at her therapist's urging, when Tori was a baby. Maura had since made regular major contributions to the center to help it continue providing free services to everyone who needed them. She had stayed in touch with Shawna, who ran the center, because of this.

"Shawna!" Maura said. "How have you been? How are things at the center?"

"Everything's great here. How are those sweet little girls of yours?"

"They're certainly keeping me busy."

"I read your new book," said Shawna. "I loved the way you represented the character who was a rape survivor, and her healing process."

Maura lightly bit her finger, the way she sometimes did when she was nervous. "Well, it's a process I'm intimately familiar with. I've actually gotten quite a few letters from readers who said it inspired them to seek help."

"We've gotten that feedback from a few clients here as well," Shawna said. "Maura, I called to ask you something, but I want you to know there is absolutely no pressure to say yes."

"Okay, what is it?"

"The annual Women's Empowerment Conference is coming up in January, and I'm putting together a panel on sexual violence. I have a few high-profile survivors who have volunteered to be part of the panel and to speak on their experiences and participate in a Q and A afterwards. As a bestselling author who is also a survivor, I think you'd be perfect for this."

"I…I'd have to think about it," Maura admitted. "I've never spoken publicly about my experience. Only people close to me know about it."

"I understand that, and if you don't want to tell your story to a larger audience, I get it," Shawna promised. "I just wanted to throw it out there in case you're interested."

"I'll talk it over with Jane and call you back," Maura promised.

"What was that about?" Jane asked when Maura came back to the kitchen.

"Shawna's putting together a panel on surviving sexual violence for the Women's Empowerment Conference, and she wants to know if I'm willing to be a panelist."

"Wow! Are you going to do it?"

"I'm not sure." Maura glanced out the back window, confirming that Tori was still in her treehouse, playing with her toy dinosaurs. "I would have to tell a roomful of strangers about my own sexual assault and how I got through it. That would be hard."

Jane nodded. "I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to do that."

Maura bit her lip. "But…my new book seems to have inspired a lot of survivors so far. The way I show a character being severely traumatized but moving on with the right help has shown a lot of people that they can find a way to move on too. It's meant a lot to me to know that I'm helping people in that way. And with this conference, I could reach even _more _people."

"That's true," Jane agreed. "And even more people would see how amazing you are."

Maura smiled. "If I do it, I can't tell the whole story. I can't tell them I got pregnant, because video or transcripts could get online, people we barely know might think it's common knowledge, and Tori could end up finding out the wrong way."

"So don't give a clear timeline. Simply talk about what happened to you and what you did to recover from it. At the end, you can mention that several years have passed and you now have a happy family of your own. No one would jump to the conclusion that Tori is the result of what happened to you."

Maura nodded. "I think maybe I should do it. It might feel good to speak out, especially if I can help others."

"And talking to strangers is sometimes easier than talking to people you know," Jane admitted.

"It can be," Maura agreed. "Although_ you_ will always be the easiest person for me to talk to. And you_ will _be hearing every draft of my speech."

Jane chuckled. "I wouldn't expect any less. So you're gonna do it?"

Maura nodded. "Yes, I think I am. I'm going to call Shawna back."

Jane pulled Maura into a hug and kissed her. "I'm so proud of you."

Maura grinned and planted another kiss on Jane's lips. "You know, I'm kind of proud of me, too."

**Author's note: welcome to my new story! I have a lot going on right now so I will be a little slow with the updates, so please be patient! It may take a few weeks to get the next chapter up, but I always finish what I start, so you know I'll keep chugging along no matter what! Your feedback is welcome. And for readers in the US - happy Thanksgiving!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thank you for your patience! And please, if you cannot handle cliffhangers, do not read this chapter (at least not yet).**

Chapter 2

"No, no, you don't have to do this!"

The cry woke Jane from her sleep. Maura was struggling, kicking off the blankets as if they were attacking her.

"Maura, honey, wake up," Jane said, reaching for her wife.

"No, get your hands off me!" Maura screamed, pushing Jane away and then heaving herself from the bed. Jane jumped up and turned on the lamp, and Maura stood still, blinking in the light.

"Baby, it's okay, it's just me," Jane said softly. "You're safe. You're at home, and he's dead."

She didn't have to ask who Maura was dreaming about. It was almost always Joe Harris, and on the rare occasions when it was someone else who had hurt her in the past – Charles Hoyt perhaps, or Dennis Rockmond – well, they were dead too. Jane usually saw to it that people who hurt Maura did not walk away with their lives. It was the only area where she and Paddy Doyle saw eye to eye.

"Jane," breathed Maura as she finally comprehended her surroundings. She rushed around the bed and into Jane's arms.

"I promise, he can never hurt you again," Jane whispered as she held Maura close and kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know what made me dream about him," Maura said. "I haven't in a long time."

"I hope the speech you're writing for the conference isn't triggering you," Jane said, rubbing Maura's back. She was proud of Maura for doing the conference, but she was worried about what it might dredge up.

"It's probably from seeing Joe Harris's parents last week," Maura said with a frown. Jane had asked Nina to find out who Harris's parents were, and when shown their driver's license photos, Maura had confirmed they were the elderly couple she'd seen watching her with Tori. They'd both felt quite unsettled since then, but technically the couple hadn't broken any laws, and they hadn't seen them since then, so there wasn't anything they could do about it right now. Ever since the incident, they had been all going as a family to take Tori to and from school, and Jane had been keeping a watch out. If they approached again, she intended to have words with them – words they wouldn't be too likely to forget.

"I know. I almost wish they would come back so I could tell them to fuck off, but I just hope I don't have to cuss them out in front of my daughters. It's going to be awkward telling them to go to heck."

Maura chuckled a little, tightening her hold on Jane. It killed Jane to see her like this, having nightmares again five years after that fucker hurt her. He had inflicted a wound on Maura that would never fully heal, and he had done it to get to Jane. Every time she thought about it, she had to spend some time with the punching bag at the gym.

"Mommy?"

The small voice in the doorway made them both turn. Tori was standing there, clutching a stuffed dinosaur, her blonde curls sticking out every which way.

"Hey, baby," said Jane. "What's wrong?"

"I heard Mommy crying." The little girl inched into the room, peering cautiously at Maura. "Are you okay, Mommy?"

"Of course, sweetie," Maura assured her, reaching her arms out. "I just had a bad dream."

Tori came closer. "About a monster?"

"Yes," Maura admitted. "But now that I'm awake, I know it wasn't real."

"What makes_ you _feel better when you have a bad dream?" Jane asked Tori.

Tori thought for a second. "Hugs and kisses."

"Then let's give Mommy some hugs and kisses and see if she feels better."

"Okay." Tori walked into Maura's arms, and Maura scooped her up. Tori wrapped her little arms around Maura's neck, one hand still clutching her dinosaur, and kissed Maura's cheek. Jane wrapped her arms around both of them and kissed Maura's other cheek.

"There," Jane said when they pulled back. "Mommy's smiling."

"Do you feel better now, Mommy?" Tori asked.

"I feel much better," Maura assured her. "Remembering I have a family that loves me always makes me feel better."

"I love you more than you can imagine," Tori promised her grandly, repeating something her mommies often told her.

Maura chuckled. "I love _you _more than you can imagine."

"Now you and that stegosaurus need to get back in bed," said Jane, pulling Tori into her arms. "I'll tuck you back in."

She crept quietly into the room Tori shared with Gianna and put the four-year-old into bed, pulling her dinosaur quilt up over her.

"Sweet dreams," Jane whispered, kissing Tori's forehead. "We don't need any more nightmares tonight."

"Will Mommy be all right?" Tori whispered back.

"Of course she will. I'll get her back to sleep."

"Okay. Good night, Mama."

"Good night, baby."

Before Jane left the room, she paused to peer into Gianna's crib. The toddler was sleeping soundly, breathing evenly. After watching her for a moment, Jane returned to her bedroom.

"I feel silly," Maura said.

"Don't. How many nightmares have I had about Hoyt over the years?"

"_You_ haven't woken the kids up."

"Well, you only woke one of them up. Gianna's still out like a light."

Maura smiled slightly. "She could sleep through anything."

"I used to be like that," said Jane wistfully. "Before I was a cop."

"Really?" said Maura, looking hopeful. "I was afraid it was because of her Atrial Septal Defect, since it makes her tired all the time."

"You're worried about her next appointment, aren't you?"

Maura nodded. "She's not getting better. I can still hear the whooshing sound when I listen to her heart."

"Well, I want the hole to close on its own just as much as you do, but if she needs surgery, I'm sure she'll be okay. You told me yourself it's very safe."

"Comparatively speaking," Maura agreed. "But there are always risks."

"Whatever happens, we will get through it," Jane promised. "Now do you want me to make you a cup of tea, or can you get back to sleep without it?"

"I just want to go back to bed," Maura said, hugging herself. "I think I can sleep if you hold me."

Jane smiled. "Well, as it happens," she said, "holding you is one of my very favorite things to do."

~R&I~

"Do you have your library book?" Jane asked Tori the next morning as she buckled a sleepy Gianna into her stroller.

"Yep, it's in my backpack," said Tori. "I already know what one I'm gonna get today. I'm getting _Sheila Rae the Brave_."

Jane was getting a little tired of reading about anthropomorphic mice, but she wasn't going to let on to Tori. She would read the book and do the voices as many times as that little girl asked her to, because that was who she was now.

"Okay, we'd better hurry or you're going to be late," said Maura, rushing out of the kitchen with Tori's dinosaur lunchbox. Pulling on her backpack, Tori reached for the lunchbox and went skipping to the front door.

It was a nice morning, a little chilly but with the sun shining brightly and the sky that brilliant shade of blue that only opened in the fall. Jane held Tori's hand as they walked through the now-familiar streets of Beacon Hill, a neighborhood Jane would never have imagined herself living in but that felt like home now. She was glad Tori had gotten into the neighborhood private school. The tuition was ridiculously expensive – they were shelling out nearly $30,000 just for early childhood – but it was nice having her at school close to their house, and it was a small, laid-back school. They didn't have uniforms, each class felt like a close-knit family, and their hands-on learning style suited Tori well.

When they rounded the corner to the block where the school was located, they could already hear the chatter of children getting dropped off, swarming the front steps of the former row house. Tori bounded ahead when she saw her friends, then came back to kiss her mothers and her baby sister goodbye.

"Have a good day, sweetie," Maura said, giving her a quick squeeze.

"Work hard. Be good," Jane added, kissing the little girl's head.

"I will," Tori promised, and with that, she was up the steps and through the double front doors, inside the haven of learning she would spend her days in for the next seven years.

Maura turned to Jane with a bittersweet smile. "Wasn't it just yesterday that she was the one in the stroller?"

"I know," groaned Jane. "But if she hadn't gotten older, Gianna wouldn't be here."

"Then can we just freeze them both right here?"

"Yes. I like that idea." Jane took control of the stroller, turning it around back towards their house. "Come on. You need to finish that chapter you're writing. I need to know if Simone and Anne are finally going to declare their love or just keep flirting over dead bodies for the rest of their lives."

Maura laughed, lacing her fingers with Jane's as they made their way back home.

~R&I~

They hadn't been home long when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," said Maura, abandoning her laptop on the desk. Jane remained on the living room rug, where she was playing with Gianna, but she cocked an ear towards the door.

"Dr. Maura Isles?" said an unfamiliar male voice.

"Yes?" said Maura uncertainly.

"You've been served."

"What the—" Jane jumped up, biting her tongue, and ran to the foyer. The mysterious man was gone, and Maura was standing still, her face pale, reading over some papers. "What the hell is that?" Jane asked through gritted teeth.

Maura looked up, her eyes full of tears. "Oh, Jane."

"What is it? Maura, tell me."

"It's from the attorney of Eric and Joan Harris. They're suing for custody of Tori on the belief that she is their granddaughter and we are not fit parents for her."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"First of all, you need to understand that they don't have a leg to stand on," attorney Miranda Barnes said from behind her desk, which was strewn with papers pertaining to the lawsuit. "Grandparents are only able to get custody in cases where there is clear abuse or negligence on the part of the parents, and they need to have an established relationship with the child. You two are model parents, and Victoria doesn't know these people."

"And they're not her damn grandparents," Jane hissed through gritted teeth. "Joe Harris is not Tori's father. Two names are on her birth certificate: mine and Maura's."

Miranda took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Yes, but the lawsuit is based on the principle that the birth certificate is wrong, that their son's name should have been there instead of yours."

"That's preposterous," said Maura. "He raped me. Even if I were raising Tori alone, I would never have put his name on the birth certificate. And Massachusetts law states that when a married couple has a baby, both names can automatically go onto the certificate without any sort of proof of parentage. That applies equally to same-sex and opposite-sex couples."

"Yes, but he was never convicted of rape, so according to the law, he could seek visitation if he were still alive."

Jane's jaw dropped. "He was never convicted because I shot and killed him while he was shooting at me when I came to find Maura after he _kidnapped_ her."

"Yes, well, that's part of the lawsuit. They are positing that he was never convicted or rape or kidnapping, therefore it didn't happen, and you killed him in an act of police brutality and are therefore unfit to raise their grandchild."

"But there's a full police report detailing my kidnapping and clearing Jane of any wrongdoing in shooting him," Maura said, feeling her heart seize. "I had a rape kit done at the hospital. There is plenty of proof. He would have been convicted if he had lived." She felt her breath coming faster, remembering him grabbing her from behind in the darkness, how hard she had struggled against him and how he had overcome her. Her hand sought Jane's arm automatically, and Jane covered it with her own hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I know, and that's why they don't have a leg to stand on," Miranda assured them. "It's going to be fine. They have no rights, and as of yet, they haven't even proven that Victoria is their biological grandchild."

Jane looked up. "So what happens now?"

"We have thirty days to file a response, and believe me, I will not be filing until the last minute."

"And what will the response say?" Maura asked.

"It'll say they're full of shit and that Tori is not their grandchild."

Maura's eyes widened. "But biologically, she is. I know that for a fact. I hadn't been with a man in over a year when Joe Harris raped me."

"That doesn't matter. We're going to say she's not. We don't have to give any false information about her conception; we're just going to say she's not their grandchild. They can either accept it or ask a judge to order a DNA test."

"A DNA test?" Maura gasped. "But that would prove it! And how would we explain it to Tori?"

"We can cross that bridge when we get to it. Yes, a DNA test will prove she's their biological grandchild, and when it does, then we dredge up the old police reports and prove she was conceived through rape, that Jane was justified in killing him, that you're both perfect parents, that it would not be in Tori's best interest to have these strange old people invading her life. Right now, we're stalling for time. The more time we have, the better our chances that the Harrises will drop their stupid case."

"I can't let those people near Tori," Maura insisted, her chest tight. "They raised a rapist. They have no part in her life. And I don't want her to know…she's only four, she's too young to know how she was conceived. I can't tell her I had her because someone hurt me."

Miranda reached across her desk for Maura's hand. "I won't let these people come near your child. I've won cases against people who had much better cases than these creepos have."

Maura tried to force a smile. "Thank you. If they even got visitation…I think it would feel like letting Joe Harris near Tori, and I was always so grateful that couldn't happen. He hurt me, but he can never hurt her. But now…now I feel like he can."

Miranda shook her head. "He can't. The law is on your side, and so am I."

"I will never let them near her," Jane promised, rubbing Maura's back. "I killed the bastard who hurt you, and I don't have a problem ripping his asshole parents apart as well."

"Nonetheless, I would avoid making threats, even in jest, until this whole thing blows over," Miranda cautioned her.

Maura smiled sheepishly at Jane. She knew that wasn't going to be easy for her.

"Don't look at me like that," Jane said quickly. "You know I'll do whatever I have to to protect my daughter. I'll be good. I promise."

~R&I~

_"You think she's coming to save you," he hissed._

_Maura knew Jane was coming to save her. Jane would always, always come to save her. What she didn't know was if she would get there in time._

_He said he was going to rape her again._

_So she ran, as soon as she had the chance. First she cut him, unleashing her pent-up rage, genuinely hoping to hit an artery but unable to see well enough to ensure it. Then she ran through dark tunnels, crashing into walls, with no idea how to get out. She ran, not even caring if she hurt herself, until she heard someone coming, and then she hid._

"Maura!"

Maura blinked in the darkness, slowly realizing that the cold air surrounding her was not stale but fresh. She looked around and saw the outline of Tori's treehouse, and the guest house at the back of the yard. The corner she was crouching in was not in a tunnel, but at the back of her house.

"Maura, please!" Jane was begging, standing just out of Maura's reach. "Come back."

"I'm here," Maura said softly. "Oh, Jane."

"There you are." Jane pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "You just walked out of the bedroom, and you didn't answer when I whispered your name. I heard you go downstairs, so I followed you. It was like…it was like you weren't in there."

Maura thought of the flashback she'd been having, and she shuddered as she remembered lashing out at Joe Harris. "Did I hurt you?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"No, not at all, but I was afraid to get too close until you knew who I was. You haven't done this since…"

"Not since I first told you what he did to me."

Jane nodded. "I'm gonna kill those fuckers for bringing all this back up for you."

"_Jane_. You know what Miranda said. No threats, even as a joke."

"Who says I'm joking?"

"_Jane._"

Jane heaved a sigh. "Fine, I'll be a model citizen. But we have to do _something_. You can't keep going through this."

Maura nodded. "I'm going to call Melanie tomorrow. I'll have to start seeing her again for a while."

"Okay. Whatever you think will help." Jane tightened her arm around Maura's shoulders, guiding her back into the house. "Come on, I'll make you a cup of tea."

"I hate this," Maura said, shivering as they went through the back door into the kitchen. "I thought I had put all this behind me. We have a wonderful life now."

"It pisses me off too, but nobody's life is without drama, no matter how good you have it."

Maura heard the soothing_ tap, tap, tap, swoosh_ of the flame flickering to life on the gas stove under the kettle of water Jane had put on. She sat down at the counter, trying to focus on her wife's beauty instead of the demons in her head.

"You know, I try to act like I don't need it, but I had to see the BPD psychiatrist a bunch of times over the years, and it wasn't always because I was forced," Jane said, her gaze on the teabags she was placing in a pot. "I started seeing Dr. Kaplan regularly after Joe Harris kidnapped you. The whole Alice Sands thing had me freaking out, but that was what really put me over the edge. He hurt you, to get to me, and I wasn't even sure what he had done to you. I could tell it had changed you, but you wouldn't talk much about it."

Maura leaned forward on the counter. "Would it have helped if I had told you sooner?"

"I don't know. It doesn't really matter now. The point is, I really did take your advice when you told me to talk to someone. You're not the only one who had to."

"Why didn't you tell me at the time?"

Jane shrugged. "I wanted to be your superhero. I always have, and I felt like you needed me to be one more than ever then. Seeing a shrink made me feel like less than a superhero."

"But it doesn't. Superheroes have to fight their own demons before they can defend anyone else."

"I know." Jane sighed, turning off the burner before the kettle could start whistling. "That's what makes you stronger than me. You never had trouble admitting you needed help getting through things."

"But I did. I was afraid to tell you what had happened to me."

"Because you didn't want to hurt me. Misguided, but still badass."

Maura ran her fingers through her hair. "I just hope I'm badass enough to protect Tori from her own biological grandparents."

"Together, the two of us are badass enough to protect her. Look at everything we've been through together, and we've always emerged victorious. And she_ is _our victory. We will defend her. We'll do whatever it takes." Jane poured some tea into a cup and put it down in front of Maura before pouring her own.

"I just remember how awful I felt when I found out my biological father was a terrible person, and I was in my thirties," said Maura softly. "I can't imagine having to process that at four. I know it's going to be hard whenever she finds out, but it needs to be a long way down the line."

"It's gonna be kind of a double whammy for her," Jane admitted reluctantly. "Both her biological father and her biological grandfather are criminals."

"She doesn't have a lot of biological family worth knowing," Maura said with a grim smile.

"She has you, and you're worth more than the rest of them put together. And you _will_ be able to help her process when the time comes. Just, not for a long time."

"No, hopefully not." Maura sipped her tea and smiled tiredly at Jane. "Thank you for coming after me."

"I'll always come after you," said Jane. "But next time I'll try to stop you before you get out the back door."

~R&I~

The wait for the doctor to come in seemed to take forever. Maura held Gianna on her lap, reading _The Hungry Little Caterpillar_ for what felt like the thousandth time. Jane sat next to her pretending to be interested in the book. Normally she'd be pacing the room at a stressful appointment like this, but not with Gianna here. The little girl needed to see her mommies calm and in control.

There was a knock at the door, and Dr. Stevenson, Gianna's pediatric cardiologist since birth, came into the room, greeting all three of them.

"I've just had a look at Gianna's latest EKG results," he told them. "Have her symptoms improved at all on the digoxin?"

Maura reluctantly shook her head. "She still gets out of breath if she runs around with her sister, or when eating."

"Her growth is still not what I would like to see either," Dr. Stevenson agreed.

"We try to get her to eat more, but once she starts having trouble breathing, she won't eat any more," Jane said, frowning.

"Well, I can't blame her for that. But I think it's best if we go ahead and put an end to this problem." He leaned forwards. "The hole isn't getting any smaller, and it's affecting her quality of life. I don't think there's any point in putting off surgery any longer. We have very good results with surgical closure. We'll just put a patch over the hole, and she'll be good to go. She shouldn't have any long-term problems or restrictions. She could even be a pro athlete someday!"

Maura felt like a hole was opening up in her own heart. "That's open-heart surgery," she said quietly.

"Yes, but we do hundreds of successful surgeries like this here every year. She's in great hands."

"You would need to use a heart and lung machine. You would have to stop her heart."

"Dr. Isles, as open-heart surgery goes, this is one of the simplest procedures, with an extremely high success rate. The patch will allow her heart to beat normally and take the stress off her lungs. She won't get out of breath when she plays anymore, and she'll start growing as she should. She'll have a normal, healthy childhood."

"Maura said there's a way you can do this type of surgery with just a catheter," Jane said, her voice hoarse.

"In some cases, yes, but I don't think Gianna would be a good candidate for that," Dr. Stevenson said patiently. "Would you mind me taking Gianna for a walk in the hallway so you two can have a moment?"

"Of course," said Maura, gently setting her daughter down on the ground. "Gianna, sweetie, can you show Dr. Stevenson your book?"

"Yeah," said Gianna, toddling over to Dr. Stevenson and holding the book up. He led her out in the hallway, chatting about caterpillars and how much they had to eat. It suddenly struck Maura how ironic it was that Gianna's favorite book was about a caterpillar that ate nonstop when she could rarely get a whole meal down herself.

"So this surgery, it's unavoidable?" Jane asked when she and Maura were alone again.

Maura nodded reluctantly. "If the hole won't close on its own, it needs to be closed surgically. The longer we let it go, the greater the risk of complications."

Jane took a deep breath. "Then we have to do it. It's already hard to watch her, you know? Struggling for air, struggling to eat even though she's hungry, struggling to keep up with her big sister…if there's a way to fix it, we have to."

Maura nodded again. "He's right, that the surgery is very safe and should fix the problem."

"Yeah." Jane let out a breath. "It's just hard to think of them cutting open her tiny chest and stopping her little heart."

"Yes." Tears began sliding down Maura's face.

"But it's one of the best children's hospitals in the world. She'll be fine, right?"

"Most likely," said Maura, barely able to choke out the words. "But with a procedure like this, there's always a risk."

"Yeah." Jane reached for Maura and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I just…What if we end up losing both of our babies? Joe Harris's parents want Tori, and now Gianna has to have open-heart surgery. What if it all goes horribly wrong?"

"Hey, that's not going to happen." Jane rubbed Maura's back reassuringly. "Joe Harris's parents don't stand a chance of getting Tori, and Gianna's gonna pull through this surgery like the trooper she is. And afterwards, she's going to be healthier than she's ever been."

"I know," said Maura, hugging Jane tightly. "I'm just scared."

"Yeah," Jane said, leaning her head against Maura's. "I'm scared too."

**Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all my readers!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Okay, we have French toast with strawberries and bananas, orange juice, and scrambled eggs. Is there anything else we need?" Jane asked.

"A cookie?" Tori suggested.

"At breakfast?"

Tori shrugged. "You said it's a special day."

Jane chuckled. "Okay, an oatmeal raisin cookie. That's sorta breakfast-y."

"Mommy's gonna love this," Tori said with a grin.

"I sure hope so. She needs to be cheered up."

"Why is she so sad?" Tori asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked up at Jane. "You both are."

"Well, we're worried about Gianna's surgery."

"But you said Gianna's surgery was going to make her better."

"It will, and we're really happy about that. We're just…sad that she has a hole in her heart and that she was to have surgery. Does that make sense?"

Tori nodded. "I can't wait for her to have the surgery though. I want her to play with me and not get tired."

"I want that too, baby. More than anything." Jane arranged some fresh flowers on the tray and picked it up. "Shall we take Mommy her breakfast?"

"Yes!" Tori hopped down from the counter stool and marched up the stairs ahead of Jane, still wearing her Peter Rabbit pajamas. "Mommy!" she shouted, pushing open the door to the master bedroom. "We have your breakfast! Happy anniversary!"

Maura was already sitting up in bed, paging through a literary magazine. She looked up and smiled.

"Well thank you, my lovely ladies!" she said. Her eyes met Jane's. "I got your note. Happy anniversary!"

Jane grinned at her. She had left a note on her pillow before going downstairs to make breakfast. When your wife was coping with PTSD, you didn't let her wake up alone without leaving a note. She set the tray down in front of Maura and kissed her cheek. "Happy anniversary, beautiful."

"I helped make your breakfast," Tori said, clambering up on the bed.

"It looks perfect," Maura told her. She looked up at Jane. "I have reservations at Giorgio's for tonight. Your mother said she could babysit."

"Grandma said we could spend the night in the guest house," Tori said excitedly. "We're going to watch a movie!"

"Oh really?" said Maura. "That sounds fun." She gave Jane a worried look. "What if Gianna needs to nurse though?"

"I pumped. Ma can give her a bottle, and if that's not good enough, she can call me. I just want some alone time with my wife."

Maura smiled. "I suppose it_ would _be nice."

"We deserve it. We've been under a lot of stress lately." Jane heard a sweet little voice from the other room and broke into a smile. "The little one's awake."

"Bring her in here so we can be the whole family in bed!" Tori said excitedly, bouncing up and down a little and causing Maura to grab her orange juice glass in a hurry.

Jane went into the nursery and found Gianna sitting up in her crib, her dark curls seriously matted. "Mama!" she said, pulling herself up on the rail.

"Hey, baby girl!" Jane pulled the toddler out and hugged her close, kissing her head. Every time she looked at Gianna now she couldn't help picturing her tiny body on an operating table, a machine pumping blood through her veins while a surgeon cut her little chest open to get to her little, perfectly still heart. She pushed the horrible image out of her mind. Gianna was here now, completely unaware of what awaited her in a matter of weeks, and her heart was beating on its own, if inefficiently. She hurriedly carried her daughter into the master bedroom before tears could start welling up in her eyes.

"There she is!" said Maura when they returned. "Good morning, sweetie!"

"Hi Mommy." Gianna reached her arms out as Jane set her on the bed and wrapped them around Maura's neck. She was such a sweetheart, Jane thought to herself. Even with a hole in it, her heart was bigger than most people's. Jane got into bed and pulled Tori onto her lap, cuddling up to Maura.

"Mmm," Maura said, resting her head on Jane's shoulder. "I know our anniversary is supposed to be about the two of us, but I love it when it's the four of us."

"Me too," said Jane, taking in the image of her three perfect girls. "Me too."

~R&I~

"You know what's bugging me?" Jane said when they were eating dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant that night. "We got married on this day, five years ago, to make sure I could put my name on Tori's birth certificate. We had to pull everything together in a month, and you had to turn sideways to hug me around your big pregnant belly, but it meant that you and I would be Tori's parents, no questions asked. We did this for Tori. I mean I would have married you anyway, but not so—"

"Not in such a hurry," Maura agreed, nodding.

"Exactly. But now…now some assholes are trying to get my name taken off her birth certificate. I thought…I thought we had done what we needed to do to protect her, to protect us."

Maura reached out and took Jane's hand. "We did all we could," she promised her. "We didn't expect Joe Harris's family to find out about Tori."

Jane shook her head. "It's like it never ends, you know? I left BPD to keep our family safe, but the ghosts of the past are still finding ways to haunt us."

"No matter what you do, there's no way to make your life perfect."

"But it should be," Jane said quietly. "I'm married to my dream woman. We have two incredible kids. You're a successful author. We live in a house we love, in the city we love. It should be very nearly perfect."

"It's not your fault that it's not," Maura said quietly. "And your name is going to stay on that birth certificate. Miranda said the Harrises don't have a case."

"Still…she's probably going to have to take a DNA test…"

"We don't know that. Maybe they'll give up when Miranda files our response asserting Joe Harris is not Tori's father."

"It's never that easy." Jane sighed. "But it's our anniversary. We should be talking about happier topics."

Maura smiled. "Well, I tweeted today."

"Again? You're getting good at this." Learning to use social media was one of the more challenging parts of being an author for Maura, but she had been following her editor's advice and developing an online presence to connect with her fans.

"Well, I got the official lineup for the Women's Empowerment Conference, so I decided it was time to announce that I would be speaking at the conference. I felt a little nervous telling everyone that I would be on a panel of sexual assault survivors. It felt like coming out, in a way."

"Well, how did they react?"

"Really positively, actually! Several people said they would come and that they looked forward to hearing me speak! Some of them even called me brave."

"You _are _brave. And now other people besides me are starting to see how amazing you are!"

Maura blushed and looked down.

"I'm really proud of you," Jane said seriously. "For all of it. The books, the conference, learning to use Twitter. I always knew you could do this."

Maura smiled. "I'd probably never have published a book without your encouragement."

"Yeah, well, remember that when you're at the conference and your fans are fawning all over you."

Maura chuckled. "I assumed you would be there, to see me speak."

"Yeah, of course I will, if you want me to."

"I would. That way if I get nervous, I'll have a friendly face to seek out in the crowd. You'll ground me."

"Sure, I'll make a funny face so all your nerves melt away."

Maura chuckled. "I was picturing seeking out your loving smile in the crowd, but funny faces would work too."

Jane shrugged playfully. "Anything to help out my lady."

~R&I~

It was strange coming home to an empty house. They could see the light on in the guest house, where movie night with Grandma must be underway. Jane doubted Gianna would last all night out there. She'd probably fall asleep, wake up a few hours later, and freak out because her mommies weren't there, and Angela would have to bring her to the main house. Tori, however, would be just fine; she loved adventures.

Jane didn't need all night, though. Just an hour or two alone with her gorgeous wife would do the trick. Both women hung up their jackets and kicked their shoes off, and then Maura turned to Jane with a smile. Jane was suddenly overcome with the same feeling she'd gotten for years before she and Maura got together, the desire to grab her and just kiss her the way she deserved to be kissed. She had fought that feeling for so long, believing Maura wouldn't welcome a kiss from her, but now she knew better.

Jane stepped towards her wife, taking Maura's head in her hands and tilting it backwards. She threaded her fingers into silky hair as she kissed those soft lips, much the way she had the first time. But this time, she quickly deepened the kiss, moving Maura backwards towards the staircase. Maura sank down on the stairs, pulling Jane with her. Jane quickly unbuttoned Maura's blouse and let her hands slip up under Maura's bra, cupping her soft breasts.

"Jane, I need you," Maura breathed.

"I'm here." Jane pushed up Maura's skirt, hearing the _clunk-thump-thump-thump_ of expensive heels dropping from the blonde's feet and tumbling down the stairs, and quickly peeled off a lacy pair of panties. Her tongue ran up the inside of a soft thigh before reaching Maura's heat and slowly making figure-eights around soft folds.

"Jane," Maura gasped, lifting her hips from the staircase and trying to fit herself into Jane's mouth. Jane's tongue slipped inside slick folds, caressing labia majora, then labia minora, listening to Maura's breath come faster. She circled the spot where she knew Maura wanted her most, dragging it out until Maura's whimpers became more desperate, and then she finally went in for that sweet spot, worshipping it with swift strokes until Maura climaxed, tugging at Jane's hair as she did so.

"Oh Jane," Maura whispered. "I needed that."

"I know you did." Jane climbed up next to her, lips wet with Maura's juices, and gave her a kiss, letting her taste herself. "Come on, let's go to the bedroom."

She stood and began walking upstairs, attempting to tug Maura by the hand, but the blonde looked at her hungrily and pulled her back down onto the stairs so she was now sitting a little bit above Maura.

"I'm going to take you right here," Maura breathed.

"Okay, that works too," said Jane. Maura was so hot when she was taking charge. Jane would have agreed to practically anything.

Maura pressed her lips to Jane's neck as she unzipped her dress, and Jane obediently lifted her hips to help Maura get the dress off. It was a new Alexander McQueen, but that didn't seem to matter much as Maura tossed it down the stairs behind them before quickly ridding Jane of her bra as well. She pressed her lips to the mole between Jane's breasts – always an object of fascination for her – before yanking at already-soaked underwear so hard, Jane could hear them tearing. Maura seemed unconcerned as she parted Jane's thighs, settling between them while her fingers gently caressed Jane's heat, her lips traveling between Jane's breasts. Suddenly she took a nipple into her mouth and began to suck as two fingers thrust inside of Jane hard enough to take Jane's breath away. She easily found Jane's G-spot and began working it, her other arm wrapped lovingly around Jane's waist to support her, her lips drinking from Jane's breast. Jane thrust her hips against the thrust of Maura's fingers until she was overtaken by the sweetest orgasm, the kind only Maura had ever been able to give her.

"Everything about you tastes wonderful," Maura said in a low, sexy voice after she had licked Jane's juices off her fingers.

"Well, you are welcome to dine on me whenever you please," Jane replied in a husky voice, touching Maura's soft hair. "It's a very exclusive restaurant. You're the only patron allowed in."

"Well, and Gianna drinks your milk."

"Baby needs her antibodies. But that's way different." She cupped Maura's face. "Anyway, tonight isn't about motherhood. It's about me being married to the love of my life, the sexiest woman alive, for five years now, and for some reason you're not completely naked yet."

Maura chuckled. "I'm sure you can fix that."

A few hours later, all their clothes were littered around the staircase and hallway, and they were lying in bed, finally sated – or at least, exhausted.

"We needed this," Maura said, snuggled up to Jane under the covers. "Not just the release, but the chance to forget everything for a while."

"And to remember," Jane agreed, still enjoying the feel of Maura's naked body against hers.

"How much we love each other?"

"I never forget that," said Jane, stroking Maura's hair. "But sometimes it's nice to be reminded how powerful we are together. We always have been, really. It's always been you and me against the world, hasn't it?"

"In a way, it has." Maura kissed Jane's face. "I like it better than when it just felt like me against the world."

"It'll never be just you again, or just me. And that makes all the difference, doesn't it?" Jane rested her forehead sleepily against Maura's. "Whatever we have to face, we'll face it together. And we've always won, haven't we?"

"We have." Maura smiled into a kiss. "We always have."

**Happy New Year everyone!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"I'm ready to go!" shouted Tori, coming out of the bathroom in her Darth Vader costume. "Wait, hold on." She pressed the button for the voice modulator embedded in the mask. "I'm ready to go," she repeated in a deep electronic voice.

Maura laughed, adjusting her Princess Leia wig. "Let me see if your sister is ready. Get your treat bucket."

"We're ready," Jane said, coming downstairs in her Emperor Palpatine robe and carrying Gianna, who was dressed as an Ewok. Tori had originally wanted Gianna to be Yoda for Halloween, but the Yoda costume they had looked at had a mask, so Maura had pushed for the Ewok costume, which simply had a hood with ears, instead. She wanted Gianna's face in all the pictures. She couldn't get the thought out of her head, no matter how hard she tried: _this could be Gianna's last Halloween_. Her second, and also her last.

It was silly, of course. Her upcoming surgery was quite simple as far as heart surgery went. She was going to be fine. She would be healthier than ever.

But still, there was always a risk with surgery. And they would be stopping her baby's heart.

She pushed the thought away. "We need pictures before we go anywhere," she said resolutely. "Stand in front of the door."

Jane put Gianna down next to Tori, who held her red plastic lightsaber in the air, and Maura knelt to snap several pictures. Tori could have been any four-year-old in a Darth Vader costume, of course, but Gianna looked just darling dressed as an Ewok, with her big brown eyes. She was so precious, so very much like Jane.

"I'm ready to hand out candy!" Angela called, coming in the back door. "Aww, look at you four. Let me get a picture of you."

Maura patiently posed with Gianna in her arms, Jane and Tori standing together by her side. The Dark Side and the Light Side, all trick-or-treating together.

"We'll be home in half an hour," Maura promised Angela, grabbing Gianna's pumpkin-shaped treat bucket.

"Half an hour?" Tori complained. "We can go longer than that!"

"We could, but I don't want your baby teeth to rot out, so we're not going to," Maura told her. She turned back to Angela. "Half an hour," she promised.

Beacon Hill was always full of kids in costumes on Halloween night, half of them driving in from other neighborhoods and hoping to get full-sized candy bars from the rich people. A woman at one house was even handing out beautifully-wrapped caramel apples.

"May the Force be with you!" Tori told the woman through her voice modulator before walking back down the steps to the brick sidewalk. "I wonder how Darth Vader eats," she said in her normal voice, examining the treats in her bucket.

"I dunno, probably some kind of feeding tube," Jane said. "He can't take his helmet off for long because he can't breathe without it, so he wouldn't be able to eat normally."

"It must be really hard to sleep," Tori said.

"The power of the Dark Side comes with a cost," Maura told her.

Tori began walking to the next house, but suddenly she froze. "Mommy," she said, her voice suddenly more high-pitched. "It's those people again."

Maura looked across the street, and there they were, muttering to each other while surreptitiously glancing towards the Rizzoli-Isles family: the Harrises.

"That's it, I'm going over to talk to them," Jane announced, her voice hard. "This is stalking."

"Wait, Jane. Maybe they aren't sure it's us," Maura reasoned. "Tori is completely unrecognizable, you're in a robe, I'm in a wig, and they wouldn't know Gianna. It's dark. It looks like they're trying to figure out which family might be us, and if you go over there, you'll give it away."

Jane let out a sigh. "You're right," she admitted. "Let's go on like we didn't notice and see what happens."

"I want to go home," Tori said.

"Hey, you're perfectly safe," Jane told her. "We're here with you. Nothing bad is going to happen. Get your candy."

"Okay," said Tori uncertainly, drawing close to Jane.

"Don't look at those people. Just pretend they're not there," Maura told her. "They're just an old couple we don't know."

"I don't like them," Tori said, reluctantly continuing down the sidewalk.

"Hey, Darth Vader dislikes a lot of people, but he never lets that stop him from doing what he wants," Jane pointed out.

"He would Force-choke them," Tori said with emotion.

"We're not going to do that, my young apprentice," Jane said, putting her hand on Tori's shoulder with a smile and steering her in the opposite direction of the whispering couple.

They managed to get home without seeing the couple again, and after rationing out a few pieces of candy per child, were eventually able to coax the children in question to go to bed. Maura showered and went to bed herself, but she still couldn't get his face out of her mind.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Jane commented as she got into bed beside Maura.

"I feel like I have," Maura admitted. "Joe Harris…clearly took after his father."

"Maura." Jane wrapped her arms around her wife and pulled her close. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could deal with the father the same way I dealt with the son. I never thought…once I killed him, I never thought he'd find a way to come back, in a sense."

Maura squeezed her eyes shut. "I just…I can't stop seeing his face, and hearing his voice, the way he taunted me. I can still feel his hands on me, the way he held me down and hit me and_ forced _himself on me—"

Jane hugged her tighter. "Maura, baby, he's not here. It's just me. I'm here. Feel me. I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you again, I promise." Maura could hear the lump in Jane's throat.

"I thought I was done having flashbacks," she said softly. "I hadn't had one in so long, and then this happened, and now I'm having them again."

"I know, honey. It's hard. I don't know if they ever really stop. They just go on hiatus for a while."

Maura looked up at Jane. "You still have them too?"

Jane nodded. "There are so many different ones. I see Hoyt, Dominick, Alice…and I see you. I see Hoyt hurting you, and your face when I found you, after Harris…"

"I'm sure I looked a mess."

"That's not the point. The point is, you were hurt and terrified, because someone wanted to hurt me by hurting you. It still pisses me off that you went through that, and that you have to deal with it now for the rest of your life."

"I'm okay most of the time now," Maura assured her, but tears began spilling from her eyes nonetheless. "I just…I just feel so filthy whenever I remember it. I didn't want him to touch me at all." Her face crumpled and she pressed it against Jane's chest.

Jane held her protectively, stroking Maura's hair. "But you're not filthy. You're the most perfect, most amazing person in the world. He had no right to even look at you." Jane's voice cracked, and she kissed Maura's head. "Sometimes I still can't believe you wanted to marry me."

"But you're the person of my dreams." Maura threw her head back to look at Jane. "You always were, from the time I met you. At first I told myself it was just friendship I felt, because you were the closest friend I'd ever had, but over time I realized I was in love with you, more so than I could ever be with anyone else. I never thought you'd want me, because I'm…me."

"Because your intelligence and beauty are so intimidating? What can I say, I'm a bold woman."

Maura chuckled. "No. Because I'm so weird."

"You are _definitely_ weird. But that's what I love about you. You're the most genuine person I've ever met, and definitely the most virtuous. You amaze me every day, and I couldn't have picked a better mother for my babies."

Maura finally smiled. "I feel the same way about you."

"Well, I guess we're the perfect couple then, aren't we?"

"We are." Maura kissed her tenderly. "Now we just need to keep our babies safe."

"We will. We'll keep them safe from everything, because we are both _badass_."

Maura giggled. "So badass."

~R&I~

A week later, Maura and Jane were at Boston Children's Hospital with Gianna, waiting for the toddler to be taken back to surgery. Jane was sitting on the bed with Gianna, reading her a_ Sesame Street_ book. Gianna was wearing a tiny hospital gown and still sniffling a little from getting the IV in her arm, but she was bravely looking at the pictures in the book, clutching her stuffed Big Bird. Tori was at school, and Angela was scheduled to pick her up that afternoon. The preschooler had given Gianna such a sweet hug and kiss before leaving that morning, wishing her good luck with her surgery. If all went according to plan, Maura would be going home tonight; Jane and Gianna would not. The doctor had said Gianna should drink as much breast milk as she wanted after surgery because the antibodies would help with her recovery, and Jane was the one who could provide that, so she would be staying.

"I want milk," Gianna whined when the book was finished, turning towards Jane's breasts.

"Not right now," Jane said, stroking her daughter's curls. "You can't have anything to eat or drink until after your surgery."

Gianna's bottom lip wobbled. "I want milk," she repeated.

"It won't be long," Maura promised her. "Soon the nurses will come, and you'll take a nap, and when you wake up, you can have milk. You can have anything you want." If she woke up asking for diamond jewelry, Maura had no doubt that she would run and get some for her. She would get this girl the finest diamonds she could find.

"Hey, how is everything in here?" asked the nurse, coming in to check on them.

"She's getting a little fussy," Maura said. "Not that I blame her. She's hungry."

"It's almost time," the nurse assured them. "I'm just going to give her something that will make her more relaxed and sleepy." She injected something into the IV and left again.

"Half of me wants to hurry up and get it over with, and half of me wants them never to come and take her away," Jane said softly, holding Gianna's hand.

"I know exactly how you feel," Maura told her with a sad smile. She bent to kiss Gianna's head. "You're such a brave girl," she told her. "This surgery will make you nice and healthy so you can run and play with Tori without getting tired."

"Towi," Gianna said softly, fighting her eyelids that seemed to want to close on their own. The little girl absolutely adored her big sister.

"Tori will come and see you later, if you're up to it," Maura continued. "And in a few days, you can come back home." That was where she most wanted to be: back home with Gianna, the whole thing behind them. It would take several weeks for her to heal fully, but at least the worst would be over with.

The meds had barely kicked in when the room flooded with people come to take Gianna to the operating room. Maura was suddenly filled with a sense of panic at the thought of strangers taking her child away.

"Gianna, sweetie, I'll see you soon," she said desperately, picking the baby up and holding her tight. Jane hugged the child from the other side, and they both kissed her head before reluctantly putting her back down on the bed and watched as she was wheeled out of the room.

Jane let out a breath. "And now we wait," she said softly.

"This might be the longest few hours of our lives," Maura said wearily.

Jane took her hand. "Remember when I was pregnant with her, and I was afraid I wouldn't love her as much as Tori?"

Maura smiled. "I knew you would, though."

"Yeah." Jane squeezed Maura's hand. "I loved you and Tori so much, I left my job so I could keep you both safe. You'd been hurt so badly because of my job, and I didn't want you to go through that again, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let anyone lay a finger on Tori. And then, things were so quiet, it seemed safe to bring another baby into the world. I felt like all four of us could be all cozy in a bubble. But then Gianna was born with a hole in her heart, and now Joe Harris's parents are after Tori, and you're having flashbacks again…"

"There's nothing you can do to make life perfect, Jane. There will always be threats and challenges to deal with, no matter what your job is."

"Yeah, I guess. I just wish I could give you three the life you really deserve."

"You have." Maura kissed Jane's cheek. "Do you miss your job?"

Jane shook her head. "Sometimes, I guess. But not enough to want to give up time with my girls."

"I would support you if you ever wanted to go back."

"I'll remember that if I ever want to go back." Jane put her arm around Maura's shoulders and pulled her close. "Can we fast forward to the part where they bring her back?"

Maura sighed, resting her head on Jane's shoulder. "I wish."

~R&I ~

The next few hours dragged by with agonizing slowness, but eventually Dr. Stevenson came to talk to them, and he had a smile on his face.

"Everything went off without a hitch," he told them. "The patch is on. Her heart is pumping blood. She's in recovery right now having her vitals monitored, but as soon as she really starts to come to, someone will take you to her."

Maura had never felt such intense relief. "So no complications?"

"No complications. It was a textbook procedure. She did great. Her heart is pumping better than ever, and she could be a star athlete someday if she wants."

Maura did not know what came over her, but she stepped forward and hugged the doctor. "Thank you," she told him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm not much of a hugger, but I'll shake your hand," Jane said, and Maura noticed her eyes looked shiny as well. "Thanks for patching up our baby girl."

"She's not a kid with a heart problem anymore," Dr. Stevenson said. "She's gonna be a regular toddler now, so get ready!"

Jane and Maura both laughed, remembering how Tori had torn around the house at that age. Maura was actually looking forward to seeing Gianna get in trouble.

Gianna was quite groggy when they finally got to see her, but it didn't take long for her to start asking for milk again. Jane was more than happy to open her shirt and lift the toddler onto her lap, letting her settle in and suck sleepily. Usually she was a bit more modest outside of the house, but today that didn't matter. What mattered was that the dreaded surgery was over, and Gianna was hungry.

By dinnertime, Gianna was sitting up and talking. Beneath her gown Maura could see the bandage from where her chest had been cut open and stitched back up, but it didn't seem to be bothering her much. She was bright-eyed and curious, ready to play with the few toys they had brought.

"You think it's just the pain meds improving her mood?" Jane asked Maura.

"I'm sure they're not hurting," Maura conceded. "But she's also feeling her heart pump blood the way it's supposed to for the first time in her life."

Jane broke into a grin. "That has to feel good."

Maura grinned back. "That's why we did this."

"Yeah. It was the right thing, wasn't it?"

Angela and Tori came by for a brief visit. Tori came running into the room with a stuffed cat she'd picked out from the gift shop and handed it to Gianna.

"How do you feel, Gianna?" she asked, jumping up and down. "Is your heart better?"

"Yeah," Gianna said, hugging the cat. "What you doing?"

"I went to school and did science experiments and then Grandma picked me up and I went home and played but I missed you so I came here to see you!"

"Oh, okay," said Gianna, her latest catchphrase.

"So the surgery went well?" Angela asked anxiously.

"It went exactly the way it was supposed to. She' already starting to perk up," Maura gushed.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was so worried." Angela bent down to kiss her granddaughter's pudgy cheek. "Grandma loves you so much."

"Gamma ice keem?" Gianna asked with a hopeful smile.

Angela laughed. "You want ice cream?"

"Yeah!"

"I wonder why she associates ice cream with her grandmother?" Jane asked in mock surprise.

"I'll get you some ice cream," Maura promised. "If you're up to eating it, you can have some."

"And me too?" asked Tori.

"Of course, because you're the best big sister in the world."

Maura went to the hospital cafeteria and came back with little individual containers of ice cream. The five of them sat around together, eating the ice cream and chatting as if a great weight had been lifted from them, until visiting hours came to an end.

"Are you sure I shouldn't stay?" Maura asked Jane, running her fingers through Gianna's soft curls. "I hate to leave her."

"Look at her. She's doing great." Jane gave her a tired smile. "And if that changes, you know I'll call you. Go home with Tori. She deserves to have one mom at home with her. Divide and conquer, that's what we decided, remember?"

"You're right." She kissed Jane tenderly, then gave Gianna a goodnight kiss as well. Angela and Tori also gave the toddler kisses before the three of them left together.

The house seemed unusually quiet as Maura got Tori ready for bed, tucked her in, and read her a story by herself. After she slid into her own cold bed, she found herself just staring into the darkness, wishing she could snuggle up against Jane. She thought about her bold, beautiful wife spending the night in the hospital room with Gianna. It would be this way tomorrow night as well, and maybe the next.

"Mommy?"

She looked up to see Tori standing in the doorway. "What is it, sweetie?"

"I'm having trouble falling asleep without Gianna there."

Maura smiled. "I'm having the same problem with your Mama gone."

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Of course." Maura pulled back the blankets, and the little girl clambered up onto the bed, crawling towards her mother and lying down with her head resting on Maura's chest. Maura hugged her tightly. This was how her family had started, really: just her and Tori. She remembered the nights she had spent curled up in this bed, trying to force Joe Harris out of her head so she could sleep. Tori had been in her womb then, and Maura hadn't even known she was there, although she'd had flashes of fear, like when her period, which normally came right on time, had been late. Stress, she'd told herself. Just stress. She had been under plenty enough of that to make her cycle come screeching to a halt, so it was a plausible explanation. Really, she wouldn't have taken the test if she hadn't started developing other symptoms.

But by then, Jane had been there, sleeping in this bed every night with her arms protectively surrounding Maura. It hadn't been romantic at first. It had been about fear: Maura's fear of being alone, and Jane's fear of someone else hurting Maura. Joe Harris was dead, but the woman giving him orders was not, and who knew how many other people she could bribe or otherwise convince to do her dirty work for her? Only after Alice was dead too and the nursery partly assembled had their relationship finally blossomed into the romance both of them had wanted for so long. Then they had emerged from the darkness to become a happy family of three, and later four.

But still, this was how the family had started: just Maura and Tori, each of them, in a sense, a victim of the same violence, each of them trying in her own way to overcome it. For Maura, that had been a conscious choice to find happiness again. For Tori, it had been the unconscious will all children have simply to grow and live. Sometimes Maura almost thought Tori's overwhelming joy in life was her way of being grateful that Maura had let her be born, but she knew that was her imagination. Tori had no idea of the method of her conception or the turmoil Maura had gone through when she had learned of the pregnancy. Perhaps it was really Maura who took so much joy in her daughter's existence because she had come so close to deciding not to have her. But it was the choice that had made Tori hers, hers and Jane's. Without it, she would have been the child Joe Harris had forced upon her.

But now there was a battle coming, and Maura knew this was really her battle, hers and Tori's, not Jane's. Jane would fight to defend them; it was in her nature to do so. But in the end, it was up to Maura to keep her family intact. She was the one who had to prove that Tori was not Joe Harris's child, even if he had been the one to put her inside Maura.

And she would fight to the death to prove it.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"I feel like I'm living in Jurassic Park," Jane said, suspiciously eying a four-foot-tall stuffed t-rex as she picked up shreds of wrapping paper.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Maura, stacking plates covered in cake crumbs on the table. "If we were in Jurassic Park, the dinosaurs would be eating us. And they wouldn't be wearing party hats."

"I'm just glad we got rid of all the preschoolers except one," Jane said, pulling the party hat off the t-rex and plonking it onto her own head. "The house feels so quiet now with fewer than ten children."

"I just can't believe we have a five-year-old," Maura said, shaking her head. "We've been mothers for half a decade already! It's been the fastest five years of my life."

"And the best five years of mine." Jane moved aside balloons in several shades of green and bent to kiss Maura. "Smokin' hot wife, two sweet little girls, and the time to enjoy it all. Sometimes I have to pinch myself." She glanced at the play table in the living room, where Tori and Gianna sat coloring in pages from the dinosaur coloring book the birthday girl had received as a present (well, Tori was coloring. Gianna was scribbling). Gianna was healing beautifully from her surgery but was supposed to continue limiting her activity for a few more weeks. It wasn't easy to convince a toddler who was clearly feeling better than she ever had that she needed to just sit around watching_ Sesame Street _or looking at books all day, but Tori had done her best to rein in her own energy and find quiet activities to do with her little sister. By Christmas, they would both be running wild, and Jane couldn't wait to see it.

"I don't pinch myself, but there's never a second when I'm not aware that I have all of this because of you," said Maura, flashing her beautiful smile.

"Likewise." The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Jane said. "But it better not be another four-year-old! Party's over!"

It wasn't a four-year-old. It was a package. It had been shipped directly from a toy store and was addressed to Victoria Isles. She almost called Tori to look at it, but something stopped her. Why did it say just Isles, and not Rizzoli-Isles?

"Maura?" she called as she walked back in. "Come look at this."

"What is it?" Maura asked, coming out to the foyer.

"It's a package for Tori, but I don't know who it's from."

Maura drew in her breath. "Open it and see if there's a note."

Jane took out her pocketknife and sliced through the tape. Inside the box was a Barbie doll – nothing someone who knew Tori would have bought her (she loved her Lottie dolls, especially Fossil Hunter Lottie, but Barbie had never really caught her eye). There was a gift note inside:

_To Victoria on your fifth birthday. Love, Grandma and Grandpa Harris_

"Burn it," Maura whispered hotly, her eyes glittering with tears.

"I'm not going to burn it," Jane said in a low voice. "I'm going to show it to our lawyer."

~R&I~

Unfortunately, Miranda said there was nothing she could do about the fact that the Harrises had taken it upon themselves to send Tori a birthday present, but she did document the incident. She had even worse news after the plenary hearing.

"I tried again to get the case dismissed," she explained in her office, "but we got the worst judge possible. Judge Warby is past due for retirement, and he has a reputation for siding with men over women in domestic violence and rape cases. He's been vocal about his support of 'traditional family.' Basically, he hates women and gay people. He knows how this has to end, but he'll stretch this out as long as he can just to make life hell for you two because you're a lesbian couple."

"Can we get a different judge?" Maura asked.

"It's doubtful. But as I've told you before, the Harrises do not have a leg to stand on. At the end of the day, he won't assign custody to them because there is no legal justification for it. But he will do whatever the law does allow, and right now, he's ordering a paternity test for Tori. We can't get around that."

"And we already know it will come back positive, which means they can push this into the next stage," Jane groaned. "How long will that take?"

"Well, with the holidays coming up, that will slow things down a bit. Judge Warby set the next hearing for January, at which time he will review the DNA results and set a trial date. I will, of course, push to have the case dismissed again, but I wouldn't hold your breath over that. The only consolation I can offer is that I am absolutely confident we will win the trial."

"That helps," Jane sighed. "But it would help more if there didn't have to_ be_ a trial."

"Can I take her to the crime lab to get her DNA test done?" Maura asked suddenly. "The ME used to be my intern. Tori knows him, and he could tell her we're looking at her DNA for fun. I don't want her worrying."

"Yes, of course. You can certainly take her there for her cheek swab," Miranda assured her. "Get it done as quickly as possible, tell Tori whatever you need to tell her so she doesn't know what's really going on, and then relax and enjoy the holidays, because nothing else is going to happen until January."

"Thank you," Maura said. "For all you're doing."

"I just wish I could make this go away faster," Miranda said with a sad smile.

~R&I~

"So the next hearing is in January," Jane remarked as they were walking back out to their car. "That's the same month as your conference. Are you sure you can handle speaking publicly about what Joe Harris did to you so close to the hearing?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be able to?"

"Well I know you_ can_, but…it's two stressful experiences really close together. That would be a lot for anyone."

"Jane, I know you worry, but I can do this. I'm ready to speak out about what I went through. I think it will make me feel stronger in the long run, and more importantly, it could help other people who have been through the same thing." She stopped and smiled at Jane. "Ever since I announced I would be speaking, several of my readers have told me how wonderful they think it is and how much they look forward to hearing me speak. One said she's coming to Boston for the conference just because she loves my books! I can't let these people down."

Jane took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm proud of you," she said. "And you know I'm behind you one hundred percent. But I just want you to know, I won't think any less of you if you decide you can't do this. I understand PTSD. I'm the one who comforts you after your nightmares, and I've had plenty of my own. You have to take care of yourself first, and I'm gonna be proud of you either way." She smiled sheepishly. "Sometimes it takes more strength to admit you're in over your head than it does to keep going. I know that from experience."

"I understand, but Jane, I'm_ fine_. I'll let you know if I get overwhelmed, okay?"

"Okay." Jane kissed her. "I just love you like crazy, you know that, right?"

"I know. I love you too. But right now, my biggest concern is getting Tori a DNA test I don't want her to have without stressing_ her_ out."

"So we get her from school and ask her if she wants to go visit Uncle Frankie and Aunt Nina at work, and we work in a visit with Kent as well."

Maura nodded. "I can't lie to her, but he can. I'll call him and tell him the plan."

~R&I~

Tori was thrilled when Jane and Maura picked her up from school and told her they were going to visit BPD.

"Can I also see where you used to work, Mommy?" she asked excitedly. "Can I watch Dr. Drake do an autopsy?"

"Yes, and no," Maura said. "Dr. Drake knows you're coming, and he has told me there won't be a body out."

"But autopsies are kind of like what paleontologists do, aren't they?" Tori persisted. "You dig up a dead body and try to find out what happened to it."

"Well, there are a few differences between dead people and dead dinosaurs," Maura said, suppressing a smile. "For one thing, the people haven't been dead as long, and they smell really bad."

"Ew," said Tori. "Can I at least look at Dr. Drake's tools?"

"I'm sure he can show you his tools," Maura said. "But you can't touch them. Just look."

"Police work is interesting too," Jane pointed out.

"I know. Can I play with Uncle Frankie's handcuffs?"

"Absolutely not."

"You guys won't let me do anything fun," Tori sighed.

"We can go for ice cream after this," Jane suggested, and Maura shot her a look. Jane knew it was a weak move. Tori didn't know something unpleasant was about to happen, hopefully wouldn't know even after the fact, and yet Jane felt compelled to reward her afterward, to make the afternoon extra fun and special so she wouldn't feel the sense of dread her mothers were experiencing.

"Ice cream before dinner?" Tori asked suspiciously.

"You're right, what was I thinking?" Jane said, making a show of smacking her forehead. "We should go after dinner, and take Gianna."

"Yeah, Gianna would like that," Tori agreed.

"She's such a protective big sister," Maura murmured.

"Well, we're doing an awesome job of raising her," Jane observed quietly. "Which is why we're not going to have any problems in court."

They stopped by the squad room first, where Frankie brought out an old police hat he'd dug up and put it on Tori's head, where it promptly slipped down over her eyes.

"It suits you," Frankie said as she pushed it back. "You'd make a good cop."

"Don't give her any ideas," said Jane.

"Why not? You used to be a cop."

"Yeah, so I know exactly how dangerous it is. My goal is not to turn into Ma, but if one of my kids becomes a cop, that's exactly what will happen."

"I'm not going to be a cop," Tori told him. "I'm going to be a paleontologist."

"I thought you wanted to be a firefighter."

Tori gave him a look. "That was when I was_ three_."

"Yeah, get with the program," Jane said.

"Can I have a badge too?" Tori asked, adjusting her hat.

"Uh, there might be some badge stickers downstairs," Frankie said.

"I mean a_ real_ badge."

"Sorry kiddo, civilians can't have real badges," Jane told her. "Are you ready to go down and say hi to Dr. Drake?"

"Yes!" Tori jumped down from the desk. "Can I keep the hat?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Frankie told her. "Nobody's using that one anymore."

Tori's chatter on the elevator ride down made it a little easier to feel like they weren't headed to the gallows, but Jane could see the worry in Maura's eyes. They found Kent in what used to be Maura's office, a sight Jane still had trouble processing.

"Dr. Drake!" Tori shouted, running in while trying to hold her hat on her head. "Look at me!"

"Oh, and who is this rookie cop?" he asked, standing up from his desk.

"Office Rizzoli-Isles," Tori announced proudly. "Actually, _Detective_ Rizzoli-Isles. Like Mama used to be."

"And I'm sure you would make a brilliant detective. Would you like to see where your other mother used to work?"

"Yes. Can I watch an autopsy?"

"Tori, we already told you, autopsies are gross and smell bad," Jane admonished. "And also, the answer is no."

"Actually, I'm just getting some DNA results back from the lab," Kent said. "Do you know what DNA is, Victoria?"

"Yes!" Tori jumped up and down, excited to have the answer. "Mommy read me a book about it. It's what we're made out of."

"Do you want to see a picture of what it looks like when we analyze it?" he asked her. "Each person's is different, unless they have an identical twin of course."

"Yes!" Tori said excitedly. "Does it look like a coil?"

"Uh well, not when we make maps of it. I'll show you." He pulled up a profile on his computer. "From this, we can see that the vic—the dead person was a woman of European descent." He opened another window. "This is Dr. Isles' DNA. You can see how it looks different from the one we just looked at."

"That's what Mommy's DNA looked like?" Tori said in awe. "Do you have Mama's too?"

"We do." He pulled up Jane's profile. "See? Different again."

"What about mine?"

"Well, I don't have yours," Kent said. "I can take a sample if you want though, and you can come back and look at it once the lab has analyzed it."

Tori took a step back. "How do you get a sample?"

"It doesn't hurt. I just use a swab to get some saliva from inside your cheek."

"Oh, okay," said Tori, stepping forwards again. "Can you do it?"

"Of course, I'd be happy to. Let me get a swab."

Jane's stomach clenched. It was all happening the way they'd wanted it to, of course. Tori thought this was just a fun science project and not proof that those scary old people who kept popping up might actually have some claim to her. Still, she felt like she was tricking her own child in some unforgivable way.

Tori obediently opened her mouth and let Kent swab her cheek. Maura squeezed Jane's hand.

"All right, I'll just send this to the lab, and your wonderful mothers can bring you back as soon as we have the results so you can look at your own DNA profile!" Kent said grandly.

"Yay!" Tori said. "Thank you, Dr. Drake!"

"I just…need to look at something in your office really quick," Jane said, forgetting it wasn't Maura's office anymore. She took the familiar route into the now very different room and wiped a tear out of her eye. She jumped when she heard a throat being cleared behind her.

"Your lawyer's right," Kent said softly. "The grandparents…biological grandparents…they don't have a claim. We still have the medical reports from when Dr. Isles was attacked. They are conclusive; it is well-documented that she was raped, by Joe Harris. No judge can argue otherwise."

"I know," Jane said. "I just…I'm so scared of her finding out. I know she has to know someday, but she's too young. How could she process it, at this age, that she's the result of her Mommy being hurt?"

"Well, she doesn't suspect anything at the moment," Kent promised. "She thinks we're just testing her DNA for fun. She has enough of Dr. Isles in her to be excited about that."

"I only see Maura in her," Jane said firmly. "There's no one else. There could never be."

Kent smiled. "She's a child anyone would be proud of."

"Thank you for your help," Jane said quietly before turning around to go back to the autopsy room, where Maura was showing Tori the tools of the trade.

"All right ladies, are you ready to go home and eat dinner?" she said, forcing her voice to sound normal, chipper even. "Then we can all go for ice cream."

"Yes!" Tori shouted. "I'm going to get a strawberry sundae!"

Jane grinned. "Sounds perfect, baby girl."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Christmas passed peacefully enough. Gianna had recovered fully from her surgery and was now running joyfully around the house the way a toddler should. The house filled with food, family, and presents, and Maura put her troubles aside for a little while.

But the new year meant a return to reality. Maura needed to finalize her speech for the conference. Although she didn't want to admit it to Jane, writing the speech was extremely triggering. She wanted to be as honest and straightforward as possible. Society had spent centuries, millennia probably, skirting around the topic of sexual assault. People weren't supposed to talk about it because it was "shameful," "upsetting." It was one of those things you just didn't say out loud.

Maura, however, felt this arrangement only benefited rapists, and she wanted to fight that. She was determined to talk about it. She was going to be open and honest about what she went through and how she felt so other survivors would know they weren't alone.

The only problem was, writing about her experience meant reliving it, and talking about it in front of an audience seemed more frightening the closer the day got. What if she got up there and just couldn't do it?

_If I could live through it, I can live through talking about it_, she kept telling herself.

"Would you like to hear the latest draft of my speech?" she asked Jane one night after the children had gone to sleep.

"Of course," said Jane, turning off the TV. "Give me what you've got." She sat back against the pillows in the leopard-print silk pajamas Maura had given her for Christmas, looking up at her attentively. She looked beautiful. Maura felt her stomach unclench a little.

"Okay," she said, clearing her throat and looking down at her notes. "During my years as Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth, I saw my share of sexual assault cases. I performed many post-mortem rape kits. I had seen up close the physical damage that rape can do. But since the victims I worked with were already dead, I didn't have to deal with the emotional toll. That was something I only imagined – until I became a victim.

"How it happened is a long story. I was involved with an amazing police detective named Jane, who is now my wife, and she had a stalker who wanted to destroy our relationship. I was working late, trying to help solve the case while Jane had been removed from active duty, when a call came in like so many I had gotten before: dispatch, calling me out to the scene of a homicide. As soon as I arrived at the scene, something felt off. Usually there are multiple police cars at a crime scene, along with officers and crime scene techs. On this night, everything was quiet when I reached the designated spot."

Suddenly, Maura stopped reading, her arms dropping down in front of her and her eyes filling with tears. "I was so stupid," she said. "Why didn't I turn around? I knew something was wrong. Why did I keep going?"

"Maura!" Jane jumped up, rushing to her wife and taking her hands, setting the notes aside. "Sweetie, you weren't stupid. You were trying to do your job. You couldn't have known what was about to happen."

"It didn't look like a real crime scene at all, but I thought the call came from dispatch, so I went closer to see. I've never – it's odd, but I'd never felt unsafe at a crime scene. It was just work. It was a mystery to solve, someone who needed my help. I didn't think anyone would try to hurt me, even if it didn't seem right."

"Of course you didn't. And you know how common it is for rape survivors to blame themselves. What would you say to the women at the conference if they told you they had been raped and thought it was their fault?"

Maura closed her eyes. "I would tell them no one ever asks to be raped, and that it's always easy to think of something you could have done differently after the fact, but that they couldn't have known what was going to happen beforehand."

"Exactly. And anyway, what happened to you was my fault. I should have been there to protect you."

Maura shook her head. "You weren't allowed to go to crime scenes."

"I should never have left you alone at work. I should have realized you were the target. I just didn't…I didn't realize anyone knew how much I loved you, especially someone I didn't know. I had no idea how obvious it was."

"You didn't know who they would come after. You couldn't be everywhere to protect all your loved ones at once, Jane."

"No. So maybe I should have just stuck with the one I loved the most." She stepped back and gazed at Maura tenderly.

Maura gave her a small smile. "You found me in time. He would have killed me if you hadn't."

"I was not going to let that happen." Jane pulled Maura close and held her tightly. Maura could feel her arms shaking a little with the memory of that day.

"In the end, it was what brought us together," Maura said softly. "Who knows how long it would have taken otherwise?"

"I'd love to go back and slap my former self for being such a coward, but we're together now, and I guess that's what matters."

"It's all that matters now." Maura kissed her. "Okay, let me read you the rest of my speech."

"All right. I'll sit back down." Jane squeezed her hands and smiled at her, eyes soft. "I'm so proud of you," she said.

Maura grinned.

~R&I~

Jane and Maura attended the hearing for the DNA results later that week. They sat behind Miranda, holding hands.

"Your Honor, the DNA results prove that Victoria Rizzoli-Isles is the biological grandchild of my clients, and therefore their only surviving descendent," Stanley Swinson, the attorney for the Harrises, was saying. "These poor people have lost their son and have been deprived of seeing their grandchild grow up. I believe Ms. Rizzoli and Dr. Isles have proven themselves unfit by lying about the child's parentage and keeping her from her grandparents."

"Your Honor!" Miranda exclaimed, standing up with eyes flashing. "Dr. Isles did not feel the need to inform the parents of her_ rapist_ that she was having a baby. They have no rights here."

"Joe Harris was never convicted of rape," Swinson countered.

"The rape was proven," Miranda said through gritted teeth. "There is thorough police documentation of Harris's abduction of Dr. Isles, as well as her rape kit. There are also photographs and videos that Harris himself took in which he gloated about what he had done to her."

"But he never got his day in court, because Detective Rizzoli here killed him," Swinson said, motioning to Jane. "And as there were no witnesses, we have no proof that Rizzoli killed Harris out of necessity. She shot him twice and was not injured in the ordeal herself."

"The Boston Police Department already investigated the shooting and determined Rizzoli acted in self-defense," Miranda said evenly. "The court has no place declaring her an unfit parent for that when she has long since been cleared of any potential wrongdoing."

"What about the fact that they both lied on Victoria's birth certificate? Jane Rizzoli put her name down as parent even though she has no biological ties to the child. The girl deserves to grow up in a stable, traditional family."

"She's in a stable family that is recognized as valid by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and the United States government," Miranda snapped. "My clients were acting within the law when they filled out that birth certificate. They were legally married and therefore the child's legal parents."

"Enough, counselors," said Judge Warby. "I am aware of the facts in the case. The law says I cannot discriminate against families headed by same-sex parents, and I will not. But there are many facts in the case that do trouble me. That Detective Rizzoli was even working the case of the so-called abduction of someone she was involved with is suspicious to begin with. That she then killed the accused in 'self-defense' without any witnesses, then married the pregnant 'victim' months later also concerns me. Everything about this feels off to me. Although grandparents rarely win cases like this, I would like to give the Harrises their day in court, something their son never got. In the meantime, I am appointing a child advocate for Victoria to investigate her current home life. I will see you all back here in four months."

"I don't believe it," Maura said, her breath coming faster. "Why won't he just drop the case? Jane, you didn't do anything wrong."

Jane squeezed her hand. "They're not going to take out daughter." Maura looked at her and noticed her lips were turning white from being pressed together so hard.

"Don't worry," Miranda said, approaching them. "The child advocate is going to see what amazing parents you are, and after the trial this will all go away. Like he said, the Harrises just want to get their day in court."

Maura wasn't looking at Miranda, though. She saw Joan Harris approaching from behind her.

"We would drop the case if you would just give us reasonable visitation," she said in a low voice. "Just let us be her grandparents. That would be enough."

"Mrs. Harris, you are not to address my client," Miranda told her sharply.

"There is no way in hell we will let you near our child," Jane said loudly. "You raised a rapist. That doesn't exactly make us think highly of your parenting skills."

"My son didn't rape anyone! If he had, you wouldn't have had the baby."

"Mrs. Harris. Detective Rizzoli. You are not allowed to talk to one another while the court case is pending," Miranda reminded them. "Jane, Maura, let's go."

Maura nodded, taking Jane's hand and pulling her towards the doors, Miranda following.

"You'll regret this!" Joan called after them. "The woman who killed my son will not raise his daughter!"

Maura shuddered as they walked out of the courtroom. "She's not his daughter," she said emphatically.

"No," Jane agreed, slipping her arm around Maura. "She is _our _daughter, and her only surviving grandparents are your mother and my mother." Maura's father had died when Tori was a baby, and Frank hadn't come around in years. Tori had met Hope, but did not see her regularly or think of her as a grandmother. It was Constance and Angela who doted on the little girl and her sister, and they spoiled them with both gifts and affection. The children lacked for nothing.

But Maura couldn't stop the tears from coming. "She's not his. She was never his."

"No, never, baby." Jane stopped walking and turned to Maura, pulling her close. "Sweetie, we both know that. She was your baby, and only yours. You chose to share her with me. That's all. The bastard who hurt you has no part in this."

Maura just leaned against her and sobbed. She felt violated all over again. Harris hadn't lived to know that he had impregnated her, and that had always made her feel safer. Having the baby was entirely between her and Jane; there was never any risk of him getting involved, trying to claim the child as his own. It had made it easier to separate the child from her conception, to think of Tori simply as the beautiful child she'd grown all on her own. Now it felt like he _had_ found out, like he had somehow come back and was trying to take Tori from her after all.

"Dr. Isles, are you all right?" she heard Miranda asking gently, but she couldn't answer. She just buried her face against Jane's neck.

"It's just bringing up a lot of memories for her," Jane explained, stroking Maura's hair. "She's got PTSD, which she's been doing great with the past few years, but this has sort of thrown her off. It's just…a lot to put someone through. The bastards have no idea."

"I can only imagine. Take her home and get some rest. We're done for now."

"Wait," Jane said. "When will that child advocate show up?"

"Probably within a week. They'll make multiple visits to your home and Tori's school over the next few months, until the trial. But I don't think you'll have a problem."

"What if_ I'm_ the problem?" Maura asked tearfully, pulling away from Jane. "What if they think I'm an unfit mother because I have PTSD?"

"Sweetie, they won't. You're the best mother in the world," Jane promised. "You're under treatment, you're doing great, and it has never affected your parenting. Don't let this make you doubt yourself."

"Hey." Miranda squeezed Maura's arm. "I've worked so many family cases. This is one I know we can win, okay? Like I've said from the beginning, these people don't have a leg to stand on." She smiled. "And, you have a pretty kickass lawyer."

Maura couldn't help smiling back.

~R&I~

_Maura waited on the sidewalk while children poured out of the school, some walking independently to nearby houses, others running happily to greet parents, grandparents, or nannies. She waited, but Tori didn't come out._

_"Ms. Thompson," Maura called, catching sight of Tori's teacher. "Where is Tori? Why hasn't she come out yet?"_

_"Tori?" Ms. Thompson said, her brows furrowed. "Her father already picked her up. I thought you knew."_

_Maura's mouth went dry. "But she doesn't have a father."_

_"Dr. Isles!"_

_Maura turned at the shout and saw him standing across the street: Joe Harris, holding Tori in his arms. Tori was squirming to get away, but he held her tight, just as he had once held Maura while she struggled._

_"No!" she screamed. "Let go of her!" She stepped into the street and then jumped back as a truck rattled by._

_"You should have told me I was a father," Harris said with a grin before turning to walk away._

_"Mommy!" Tori cried, reaching out towards her._

_"She's not yours!" Maura shouted, running after Harris, but he moved with unnatural speed, and she couldn't catch up. "Bring her back!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "She's not yours! She's not _yours!_"_

She sat up, gasping for air. Jane was in bed beside her, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh Jane," Maura breathed. "I'm sorry for waking you up. I was having another nightmare."

"It's okay." Jane reached up and rubbed her back. "I thought I heard you say, 'she's not yours.'"

"I dreamed Joe Harris took Tori."

Jane immediately tensed. "Well he's dead, and no one is taking our little girl."

"I know. I know." Maura squeezed her eyes shut, trying to rid herself of the image. "I just can't stand for her to feel the way I felt. I can't—" She pushed the blankets back. "I have to see her."

"Maura?" Jane questioned, but Maura ignored her and charged to the girls' room.

Tori was perfectly safe, lying on her side with her stegosaurus in her arms, her blonde curls strewn across her pillow. Maura still didn't know what they were going to tell her when the child advocate showed up. For now, Tori's world was still intact.

Gianna was also sleeping soundly, breathing evenly. Maura couldn't resist putting a hand on her chest to feel her strong heartbeat. Of course the whooshing sound her heart had made before couldn't have been detected without a stethoscope, but still, it was reassuring to know her heart beat efficiently now, easily pumping blood to every part of her body.

Maura sat down gingerly on the edge of Tori's bed and stroked her daughter's hair. She saw nothing of the Harris family on her face or in her caring personality. For "grandparents" who thought they knew what was best for Tori, the Harrises certainly hadn't thought about how their sudden appearance in her life might upset this little girl.

Maura would be damned if she would let this child suffer on their account. She didn't care what she had to do.

She looked up to see Jane watching her from the doorway, and she got up and walked over to her.

"You okay?" Jane whispered.

"No," Maura whispered back. "Someone's after my child." She took Jane's hand. "I don't think I can get back to sleep after that dream. I'm going to go make a cup of tea. Would you like one?"

"Yeah, of course," Jane answered.

Maura knew Jane wasn't interested in the tea. She just wanted to stay close to Maura, to make sure she was okay, and Maura loved her for that.

"I know they won't take Tori from us," Maura said as she put the kettle on the stove downstairs. "But they can still traumatize her. We have to figure out how not to let that happen."

"I would agree with that."

"So what do we tell her when the child advocate shows up?"

Jane blew out her breath. "I think we need to tell her ahead of time that someone is coming to meet her."

"And who do we say this person is?"

"Someone who wants to learn about children?"

Maura frowned. "We've always told her not to talk to strangers, and this will be someone we don't know."

"Well, the person's not going to just show up and grab Tori. We'll talk to them first, get a feel for how to approach it without it being traumatic. The advocate's job is to figure out what's in the best interests of the child, so they're not going to want to scare her."

Maura nodded. "I guess we'll have to take it one day at a time." The kettle began to whistle, and she turned the burner off quickly before pouring the boiling water into two teacups.

"We've gotten through a lot already. We'll get through this too."

Maura slumped against the counter, putting her head in her hands. "And I've got that conference Saturday…which I guess is tomorrow. I have to talk about the man from my nightmares – not that I plan to say his name. But his face…his face will be in my mind the whole time."

Jane studied her for a minute. "Honey, are you really sure you can do this right now, with everything we have going on? There will be other conferences. You don't have to do this one."

"But I committed. My name is on all the materials. It's too late to back out now."

"What are they gonna do, arrest you if you don't go?" Jane put her hand on Maura's. "If you call Shawna first thing in the morning and tell her you can't do it after all, don't you think she'll understand?"

Slowly, Maura nodded. "Yes. She'll understand."

"So call her. And since my mom already cleared the day to babysit, I'm gonna declare a spa day."

Maura giggled. "Really?"

"Yes. We both need it. You call Shawna, and I'll call your favorite spa and book alllll the treatments. We're gonna have massages, facial mud, all the things. It'll be our day to just get away and relax. You can save the world next year."

"Jane." Maura went around the counter and kissed her wife. "You are the best."

"Yeah, I know." Jane grinned. "But you deserve the best."

**AN: Sorry it took so long to post this, but I was busy getting a new book out! It's a short story collection that includes some stories based on my Rizzles one-shots. Link in profile!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"It's just, when someone treats you a certain way, it's hard not to wonder if you deserve it somehow," Maura said, hugging her knees as she sat against the headboard, her eyes far away. "Even if logically you know you haven't done anything, it's still…it's hard for the mind to comprehend."

"You mean, when Joe Harris hurt you, you thought…you thought you might have _deserved _that?" Jane got into bed beside Maura. It had been a long day, since neither of them had slept the night before, but they had both accomplished their main objectives: Maura had cancelled her appearance at tomorrow's conference, and Jane had booked a couples' suite at a fancy spa in the Back Bay, which was where they would be while the conference was taking place. Jane hoped a day of relaxation would be enough to put Maura back in her usual frame of mind. Being confronted by the Harrises in court had done something to her. She seemed to be seized by constant flashbacks now, struggling to hold herself in the present. She looked the way she had right after the attack.

"Yes. I knew he was a sick bastard, I knew…I knew it was to hurt you. But I kept thinking, what have I done? What have I done to make him hurt me like this? He kept saying, 'it's not personal,' but it _was_ personal. He knew so much about me. And he seemed to be enjoying my fear. He enjoyed how surprised I was when he hit me. He enjoyed overpowering me. He taunted me while I was chained up, while he was forcing himself on me. And I kept thinking, what did I do? What did I do to make him want to treat me like this?"

"Maura, baby, look at me," Jane said, gently cupping Maura's face in her hands. "You didn't do anything. He did it because of the kind of person he was, okay? Like you said, he was a sick bastard. Not mentally ill; just sick because he wanted to be."

Maura's eyes moved to Jane's face, struggling to focus. "What do you think made him do that?" she whispered.

"If I had to guess, I'd say he was a psychopath who spent his life playing by the rules, but it didn't get him where he wanted to be, and Alice Sands finally gave him permission to live out his fantasies of torturing someone. And she told him to pick you, because she had it in for me. And because I love you."

That was the part Jane struggled most with. Her badly disguised love had caused Maura all this pain and suffering. And the worst part was, both the sick bastards – both Sands and Harris – would probably be pleased to know that Maura was still suffering from what they had done, that she was never going to be the same, and that Jane would always feel this guilt. All those years of distancing herself as much as she could bear to keep Maura safer, and what she should have done all along was keep her close, close enough to protect. That was what she was doing now, would do for the rest of her life. She had given up on trying to protect the entire city of Boston and shrunk her world down to this woman and their two little girls. She would give everything to keep them safe, but she couldn't undo what had already been done.

Maura met Jane's eyes, and she smiled a little. "Being with you is the complete opposite of what I went through with Joe Harris. He treated me like I was worthless, and you treat me like I'm the most precious person in the world." A tear slid down her cheek, and Jane caught it with her thumb.

"Because you are," she said. "Who do you trust, me or him?"

"You, of course."

"So forget about him. Believe me." Jane tenderly kissed Maura's face. "What you need to understand is that you're perfect to me. Not_ almost_ perfect. Just perfect. Absolutely perfect." She captured Maura's eyes with her own. "You will always be perfect to me."

"You don't see me as damaged?"

Jane drew in her breath slowly. It was so hard to see Maura like this, so _haunted_. Maura had always been a strong, proud, confident woman, and Joe Harris had shattered that. It had taken time for her to rebuild after the attack, and Jane didn't want to see her forced to start over again because of this.

The truth was, when Maura was shattered, so was Jane.

"No, I don't think you're damaged," Jane told her. "I think you're the strongest, bravest person I've ever met." She took Maura's hands between both of hers. "And somehow you still have the kindest heart of anyone I've ever known, no matter what life throws at you. You're still you."

"I don't know how else to be."

"And that's why I love you." Jane lifted Maura's hands to her lips. "I never want you to be anyone but who you are."

"As long as I have you by my side." Maura snuggled up to Jane, who readily wrapped her arms around her. "You're the only person I've ever felt completely safe with."

"Yeah, you're my sanctuary too." Jane stroked Maura's back. "And_ this_ is the only way you're going to be touched for the rest of your life. _This_ is what you deserve."

She continued to stroke Maura's back until she felt her relax and slowly fall asleep. Jane, however, was wide awake. She couldn't get the image out of her head, of that horrible man hitting sweet Maura, holding her down, forcing himself on her. Her blood suddenly felt cold, and she held Maura close, feeling her warmth.

What had either of them done to deserve this hell?

~R&I~

"If you ever doubt how much I love you, just ask yourself, who else would I ever even consider being mummified with?" Jane pointed out the next morning when they were lounging in their private treatment room. Both of them had had their skin exfoliated and then slathered with some sort of herbal mud mixture, and now they were all wrapped up in cloth, cellophane, and thermal blankets to let their skin soak up the nutrients. Maura seemed to find it supremely relaxing, but Jane just wanted free of her bonds.

"Natural mummification would require cold, low humidity, and a lack of air. We're in a warm, airy room, covered in moisturizers. It's the exact opposite of mummification."

"Well, I wouldn't be any less able to move if I were a corpse. Seriously, I can't move a muscle in here."

"Your mouth muscles seem to be working just fine," Maura said with a smile. "Anyway, that's why it's relaxing. You get to just lie here and not do anything."

"But I _like_ doing things."

"Sometimes you need a break from doing things, whether you realize it or not. Anyway, this was your idea."

"Because I knew you would like it. And as I mentioned, I love you and would do anything for you."

"I know." Maura gave her a bigger smile. "I love you and would do anything for you as well. Including put up with your constant complaining while we do something that's good for you."

"Sorry. I'll try to shut up."

They were quiet for a minute, but Maura broke the silence.

"The conference will have started by now," she said softly.

"And I'm sure women are getting empowered like crazy even without you there. You're getting empowered in your own way."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"There's always next year, if you're ready then. Or the year after."

"I know." Maura's eyes suddenly widened. "I forgot to tweet!"

"What?"

"I called Shawna to tell her I wasn't coming, but I forgot to tell my followers on Twitter!"

"Well, they'll figure it out when they get there."

"I hope my readers won't be too disappointed."

"Hey, shit happens. And while I might have been going just to hear you speak, I'm sure everyone else is there for the whole conference, not just you. At least the out-of-towners. Don't get me wrong, you would have been the highlight of the day, but who would come all the way to Boston from somewhere else for a twenty-minute speech?"

"I'm sure no one was coming just for me," Maura agreed. "But still, I have a duty to my readers."

"Well, you'll tweet them tomorrow and apologize for not being there. No big deal. For now, just enjoy being a mummy."

"You're right." Maura closed to eyes. "This was an excellent idea, Jane. All those horrible memories feel so far away right now."

"They are. All that shit is in the past. What you have now is a wife and two kids who love you more than anything, and a bunch of people reading your books who think you're pretty swell too. You have a good life with no one who wants to hurt you, at least not directly. Even the Harrises aren't trying to hurt you; they just don't care if they do. And we'll get rid of them."

"Yes. We will."

There was a soft knock at the door. "Come in," Jane said awkwardly.

The door opened. "Hi, I'm Greg. Did you two ask for facials?"

"Yes!" said Maura.

"Great, I'm your man!" He came in pushing a little cart with the tools of his trade. Everything about him set Jane's gaydar pinging, and she smiled to herself. If only her bi-dar worked as well as her gaydar, maybe she and Maura could have been a thing much sooner.

"Okay, let me wrap your hair up in a towel," Greg said pleasantly, turning to Maura first.

"Now even your hair's mummified," Jane joked as he securely covered Maura's hair with the towel.

"If we were mummies, our faces would be wrapped up too," Maura pointed out.

"I'll start by cleansing your face," said Greg, getting some oil on his fingertips. But when he reached for Maura's face, she involuntarily flinched and pulled back.

There was an awful moment when Greg looked at Jane, horror turning to accusation. _Someone hit this woman_, his eyes seemed to be saying. _Was it you?_

"I'm so sorry," Maura said in embarrassment.

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry for," said Greg, glancing back at Jane. Of course she was suspect; people in his profession were trained to look for signs of domestic abuse, and you couldn't find a more obvious sign than what Maura had just done.

"Don't worry," Jane said quickly. "The bastard who hurt her is dead."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," said Greg, visibly relaxing. "Are you ready for me to cleanse your face now, honey?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry," Maura repeated. "I've just been going through a rough time, reliving some bad memories. That's why my wife brought me for a spa day. She knew I needed to relax."

"Well, I'm happy to help with that," said Greg, gently rubbing on the cleanser. "That's what we're here for."

"I was supposed to speak today at a women's conference about my personal experience with surviving a violent attack, and I couldn't do it. It was too triggering for me," Maura explained, the words spilling out as if she were at Confession (not that she would know what that was like). "I had to cancel at the last minute, and so I'm here instead."

"Well, you did the right thing." Greg wiped off the cleansing oil and began applying an exfoliating scrub, this time approaching her more carefully so she could see him coming.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because working in this business, I understand the importance of self-care. You can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. And if it was too triggering, then what are you going to do? If you're going through a hard time, the last thing you need to do is talk about it in front of an audience. You need time for yourself, time to de-stress. And that's when you come to us."

"Yes, I suppose you're right," said Maura, smiling. "I just feel like I've let people down."

"You're the kind of person who worries about that, aren't you?" Greg cleaned off the scrub and began painting on the mask.

"She_ is_," said Jane. "She worries about it so much. She's the most reliable person I've ever met, and everyone completely understands that she can't do everything all the time, but she's so hard on herself."

"Everyone's their own worst critic," Greg agreed. "But you've got to learn to be easier on yourself. No one expects you to be Superwoman."

"You need to tell that to Jane as well," Maura said. "She still beats herself up for 'allowing' me to get hurt all those years ago. As if she could have known what was going to happen!"

"Jane, same goes for you," Greg admonished gently. "I can tell you two love each other very much, but you can't be there for your wife if you're busy beating yourself up. She needs you to be strong."

"Greg, we already have two kids, but we just might adopt you," Jane told him.

"Aww," said Greg. "I'm just honored that I got to work on what is clearly one of Boston's lesbian power couples."

Jane and Maura both laughed. "We're a _power_ couple!" Jane exclaimed, grinning at Maura, who grinned back.

~R&I~

After wraps and facials, massages and a light lunch, and finally, a soak in the jacuzzi, Jane and Maura finally went back home, feeling truly rejuvenated. All Jane could think about was how nice sex would be with their skin feeling so extra-soft now, and to her surprise, Maura was up for it. Once the kids were asleep, they made love slowly and tenderly, and Jane found herself reminded of their first time together. Maura seemed to have come out of the dark place she'd been in the past few days, and Jane couldn't help thinking that probably wouldn't be the case if she'd spent the day at a conference discussing her own rape rather than being pampered at a spa. For the first time in days, they both got a good night's sleep.

"I need to tweet an apology," Maura murmured not long after waking up the next morning.

"It can wait until after breakfast," Jane said, stretching and then pulling her wife closer.

"I'll just see if anyone's said anything." Maura grabbed her phone from her nightstand and began looking through her notifications. Then she gasped.

"What?" Jane asked sleepily.

"Someone's mad. One of my readers."

"Let me see." Jane took the phone and looked at what Maura had been looking at. It was a tweet from someone named Christine Reeves.

_ DrMauraIsles is a FRAUD! She made a big deal about speaking at the Women's Empowerment conference in Boston, and she didn't even show! I drove all the way from Maryland to see her only to be told she had backed out at the last minute!_

"Someone did come from out of state just to see me," Maura said quietly.

"Just for a speech? I mean, I suppose a person would drive a long way to see the most beautiful woman alive in person, but…you're already married."

"I don't think it's about that." Maura scrolled through the messages as Jane watched, and they both saw that Christine had continued her rant over several tweets.

_It wasn't just the speech. She was going to participate in a Q&A panel afterwards, geared towards sexual assault survivors. And she just bailed without telling anyone. So much for being an advocate for survivors!_

_This was really personal for me. Her books have been the one thing I had to cling to while going through a dark time, and now she's taken that away. I can't respect a writer who claims to support survivors and then just fucking cancels an event without warning. How many people were depending on hearing what she had to say? And we've got radio silence from her. No explanation, nothing. Shows what we mean to her. Fucking hypocrite._

_Obviously this wasn't about helping survivors. She's just trying to sell more books and get more famous, like every other author. I can't believe I ever thought she was better than that._

There were various replies, some from people who thought Maura must have a good reason, others from people who agreed that she was wrong to cancel without telling anyone. Not one of them showed concern for Maura's well-being or suggested that her sudden cancellation could be a sign something was wrong.

"What a bitch," Jane said.

"People _are_ upset with me for cancelling," Maura said in distress.

"Oh, don't worry about this freak. Listen, ignore this entire thread. Don't jump into the fray. You have breakfast, compose yourself, and then send out the tweet you planned, apologizing for your sudden cancellation and giving whatever explanation you're comfortable with. And then you leave the tweet there and don't read the responses. I'm sure most will be understanding, but you don't need to see the few that aren't. That spa day was pretty expensive. Let's make it worth the money, okay?"

Maura nodded uncertainly. "This is what I was worried about, that I would disappoint someone."

"Yeah, but listen to this lady. She sounds completely off her rocker. She can't think of one logical explanation for why a sexual assault survivor might decide at the last minute she can't talk about her experience? She says this is personal for her, but if it is, she should understand why it would be difficult for you."

"You're right. She sounds a bit obsessive." Maura let out her breath. "Just what I need."

"Yeah, well, it's probably good you didn't meet her yesterday. Now she'll go back to Maryland, and she hates you now, so you never have to see her again."

"I'm not sure that's entirely comforting."

"She'll get over it and find a new thing to obsess over. I know her type. So ignore her, and talk to the people who have respect for you. The ones who don't assume the worst."

Maura nodded. "I can do that."

**Author's note: I hope everyone is staying safe and staying home if your job allows! I hope having some new reading material helps :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"My name is Ashley Brewer. I'm a child advocate." The petite brunette on their doorstep offered her hand, and Maura hesitantly shook it.

"I'm Dr. Maura Isles," she said, trying to sound more confident than she felt. "I'm Tori's mother. She's at school right now." She didn't usually introduce herself as "doctor" when she wasn't meeting someone in a professional setting, but she felt the need to impress her accomplishments upon this woman.

"That's fine. I figured I would start by talking to her parents," said Ashley. "Are you both home?"

"Yes, Jane is in the living room with our younger daughter, Gianna." Maura stepped back to let Ashley in. Jane was looking at a book with Gianna on the couch, but Maura saw her going on her guard the moment she laid eyes on Ashley. Maura tried to catch her eyes, to send her a silent reminder that she couldn't be the tigress she normally was when she felt threatened, not with this woman.

Maura looked around the room as Ashley introduced herself to Jane, trying to see it through a stranger's eyes. It was neat and tidy, except for the toys strewn across the floor. There was a play kitchen against one wall with wooden food, a child-sized table and chairs sitting next to it. Most of Maura's medical books were now in the study upstairs; the lower shelves of her built-in bookcase now boasted children's books. A large rocking horse stood in front of the window. It looked like a safe, child-friendly home.

Ashley was taking out a notebook. "Since this is about a custody dispute, I thought maybe we could start with how you had Victoria," she said. "I know you are the biological mother, Ms. Isles, but there is some question as to whether Ms. Rizzoli's name should have been on the birth certificate."

"It's Dr. Isles," Maura reminded her. "And perhaps we should discuss this upstairs. I know you will want to talk to Jane as well, but I don't want my younger daughter to hear this story. Tori doesn't know either."

Ashley glanced at the toddler before agreeing to follow Maura upstairs. Maura led her into the nursery and invited her to sit in the rocking chair before settling herself on the edge of Tori's bed. Ashley looked around at _Sesame Street _characters, dinosaurs, and fire trucks.

"So you want to know how Tori was conceived," Maura said evenly. "The backstory is a little complicated. Jane had a stalker, Alice Sands, who had been infatuated with her during their time in the police academy. After being imprisoned for drug dealing, Alice's obsession with Jane escalated, and she gathered as much information about her as she could, eventually piecing together that Jane was in love with me. She used her contacts on the outside to try to destroy Jane's life – burning down her apartment, shutting down her bank account, things like that. All of this culminated in her convincing her prison psychiatrist and lover, Joe Harris, to kidnap me. The plan was for him to rape and otherwise torture me for an indeterminate period of time while sending messages to Jane, and then he was going to kill me. Fortunately, Jane found me the next day, so he had only raped me once, and I wasn't seriously hurt. Jane chased him after I was safe with plans of questioning him about who was behind everything, since we didn't know at the time, but he shot at her multiple times and she was forced to shoot back in self-defense. He died without giving any information."

Ashley made a few notes. "And you became pregnant as a result of the sexual assault?"

"Yes. I had taken emergency contraception, but there are cases when it isn't effective, and mine was one of them. I genuinely considered terminating the pregnancy, but I had wanted a baby for some time, and in the end I decided it didn't matter who the father was or how she was conceived. She was still my baby. Jane moved in to help me raise the baby, and our relationship progressed to the point where we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, so I suggested we get married before Tori was born to insure that Jane could legally put her name on the birth certificate and not have to go through second-parent adoption. We got married the month before Tori was born."

"At any point did you reach out to the Harris family to let them know you were having their son's baby?"

Maura shuddered. "No. As far as I'm concerned, I didn't have their son's baby. Tori is mine and Jane's. I don't know the Harrises, and I don't feel comfortable being in contact with the family of the man who raped me and planned to kill me."

Ashley made a note. "And Tori is…five now?"

"Yes." Maura smiled a little. "She turned five in November. She had a dinosaur party."

"Where does she go to school?"

"She's in pre-k at Brimmer School. It's a small private school that goes through sixth grade. She loves it there."

"That's here in Beacon Hill, right?"

"Yes. We usually walk her to and from school."

"I imagine tuition is quite a lot at a school like that."

"I can afford it," Maura said coolly.

"I notice you say 'I' instead of 'we.'"

"Either would be accurate since we share a bank account, but currently I am the sole breadwinner. Jane and I both left our jobs, mine as Chief Medical Examiner and Jane's as a homicide detective, when Tori was born. We had to work long hours and often found ourselves in dangerous situations, especially Jane. We left to devote ourselves to our family, and I began a new career as a novelist."

"Would you say Jane is the primary caregiver?"

"No. I work my writing around the kids. We are both primary caregivers."

"So Tori shares this room with her little sister?" Ashley asked, looking around.

"Yes. The other bedrooms are upstairs, and we wanted them to be near us while they're little."

Ashley walked around the room, examining Tori's bed, peeking into the toybox and wardrobe. "Where is the bathroom?"

"The one the girls use is across the hall." Maura followed and watched nervously as the woman noted organic baby shampoo, little toothbrushes, and rubber duckies. She even looked inside the medicine cabinet, noting the thermometer and children's Tylenol. Maura hated this. She had worked so hard to make their home a nurturing environment for their children, but she'd never expected someone to actually come in and inventory everything. She kept wracking her brain, wondering if there was something she had overlooked, some vital thing children needed that she had forgotten to provide for Tori and Gianna, an oversight that would make her look like an unfit mother.

But Ashley showed no emotion as she made her rounds. She would have been trained not to, Maura knew.

She asked a bunch more questions about what Tori ate, how often she went to the doctor, how she was disciplined, and what sort of relationship Jane and Maura had. Maura answered most of her questions with a businesslike manner, but she couldn't help smiling when she described her relationship with Jane.

"Every time I look at Jane, I can't believe I'm the one who gets to be with her," Maura said. "And yet, she says she feels the same way about me. We just fit together. We have ever since we met. She has always felt like home to me. We balance each other out. I feel safe with her, loved, and we work together so perfectly to raise the children. Jane says her parents argued about everything when she was growing up. She and I might have disagreements, but we always work through them, and we're always a team."

Ashley remained impassive as she wrote this down. "Do you have any extended family in the area?"

"Oh, yes." Maura suddenly remembered the implication in court that two women couldn't provide a balanced upbringing. "Jane's family lives in Boston. Her mother and brothers spend a lot of time with us, and her brothers both have children, so the girls have cousins to play with. My mother lives abroad, but she visits a few times a year. We're going on vacation with her soon, over the school break."

"No grandfathers?"

"Well, Jane's father sort of ran out on the family, and mine died when Tori was a baby. But the girls really look up to their uncles." She wanted to make clear that the children_ did_ have male role models in their lives.

"Okay. I'll need the names and numbers of any relatives who see Tori on a regular basis so I can speak to them as well. Tomorrow I'll go by her school and talk to her teacher, and to Tori herself."

"Okay," Maura said uneasily. "She doesn't know, about the custody case. We haven't told her. We're hoping it will go away before then. We just don't know how to explain to her who the Harrises are. She doesn't know I was raped, and I wouldn't know how to tell her. She has only a vague idea of how reproduction works anyway. She knows we purchased sperm to have Gianna, and she assumes we did the same for her. I don't know how, at five, she could possibly comprehend that she was conceived through violence, that she wasn't planned the way her sister was. All she knows is that as long as she's been here, we have loved and wanted her. That's all I want her to know right now. I always planned to tell her the whole story when she was old enough to understand, but she's not nearly there yet."

Ashley nodded her understanding. "When I go to her school, I will tell her I'm someone who works with children and I want to talk to her because I'm learning more about children. I'm sure the school has visitors from colleges and so on?"

"Oh yes, they get lots of student observers and student teachers."

"I'll try to make it seem like I'm just want of those. I don't want to frighten her."

"Thank you," Maura said, relief washing over her. "She's already been a bit worried. The Harrises have followed her in public twice, and it scared her, but we've tried to keep her from worrying too much. We just reminded her not to talk to strangers and that we would keep her safe."

"They followed her in public?"

"Yes, not exactly followed, but we caught them twice watching her from a distance, once at her school and once on Halloween. They also sent her a present on her birthday, but she doesn't know about that."

"Does your attorney know?"

"Yes, she's documenting everything, but since they technically haven't broken the law, there isn't anything we can do."

Ashley furiously scribbled down some notes. "Okay, I just want to talk to Jane for a bit, and then I'll be on my way."

Maura played quietly with Gianna while Jane chatted with Ashley, and Maura was impressed by how calm and unworried Jane sounded. When Ashley left, Maura let out her breath.

"I can't tell if that went well or not," she said.

"It went great," Jane said.

"How can you tell?"

"Because I used to be a cop and I know what a home that's not fit for children looks like, and ours is the exact opposite. Tori's got loving parents, creative toys, healthy food, warm clothes, a nice house with her own bed, and she goes to one of the best schools in Boston. There is literally nothing to complain about. And when she meets Tori, she'll see what a happy, bright child she is. Like Miranda said, the Harrises don't have a leg to stand on."

"Speaking of Tori's school, I'm going to send an email to the principal and her teacher so they know why a child advocate is coming to speak to Tori."

"You're gonna tell them everything?"

"Just the basics, but I don't want to be too vague. We both volunteer at the school. I don't want them worrying that we're in the middle of a child abuse investigation, which is the usual reason child advocates show up."

Jane nodded. "I guess that only makes sense. It's probably not something they see often at Brimmer School."

"I'm just glad Ashley was willing to agree not to tell Tori too much when she visits her at school."

"Well, a child advocate is there to represent the best interests of the child. That means trying your best not to scare the living daylights out of the kid. 'Hey, I'm here to talk to you because some biological grandparents you don't know want to take you away from your mommies' is a pretty scary thing to say to a five-year-old."

"If she's on Tori's side, it should be obvious what the best thing to do is."

"Exactly. With her report, this thing will be a slam dunk."

"I'm just glad we're going on vacation soon," said Maura, putting her head on Jane's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to working on my tan," said Jane with a grin, before looking at Maura's pale Irish skin. "And slathering sunscreen all over you will be fun."

Maura grinned back. "I guess I'd better start shopping for supplies."

"Yeah, you don't have much time." Jane leaned her head back. "Your mom was very nice to rent us a private beach villa, but please tell her that if she wants to sunbathe topless this time, to do it when I'm_ not _out there with her."

Maura started laughing. "I'll tell her."

"I'm serious. I love Constance, but I do _not_ want to see my mother-in-law's boobs."

"I know. I'll mention it to her."

~R&I~

"I feel like I did the right thing, backing out of the conference," Maura told Melanie at their next session. "I felt horrible about it at the time, but with everything that's going on right now, I just don't think I could have done it without breaking down. Every time I see Joe Harris's father, I feel like I'm looking at Harris again, like he's come back from the dead, and it's triggered so many flashbacks. It's made everything raw again. And I can't calmly speak in front of people when I'm feeling raw. It has to happen when I'm back in control."

"It sounds like you did make the right decision for yourself," Melanie said approvingly. "Now isn't the time."

"Now isn't the time. But the time will come."

"Do you feel like you'll have better mastery over what happened to you when you can talk about it publicly?"

Maura paused. "Yes, I suppose I do. I want very much to feel like I have taken control back. I don't want my trauma to control me."

"That's a worthy goal. But it's important to understand that trauma does stay with us forever. You can take back control by learning coping skills, but rape is not something you 'get over.' There will always be triggers and flashbacks."

"Yes. I know. But I don't want them taking over my life. For almost five years, I had my life back, and then…"

"Then the Harrises showed up."

"Yes. And I think I've figured out what bothers me most about that. It's not just that I'm worried about Tori, because my lawyer has promised me they will never get visitation. And it's not just the flashbacks it's triggered, because I know that's part of living life as a sexual assault survivor. It's just that…well, as horrible as it sounds, I accepted long ago that I will always feel some sort of link to Joe Harris because of the trauma he inflicted on me. Jane feels the same way about Hoyt, about Alice Sands. The people who hurt us, they leave their imprint, and it doesn't go away. I have learned to accept it and live with it and not let it control me. I have much stronger bonds that were forged out of love." She paused to draw in her breath. "But Tori is not what links me to Joe Harris, not in my mind. She never has been. She's my baby with Jane, just like Gianna. I've never, ever seen her as connected to Joe Harris in any way, not since I made that decision to have her. In my mind, I excised Harris from my baby in all ways. I made her mine." Her voice broke and she wiped a tear away.

"And then the Harrises showed up, trying to put their claim on her."

"Exactly. They are trying to make me see her as connected to him. And I don't want to."

"I can see why that would be frustrating. How is the case coming?"

"The trial is in the spring, and hopefully after that, it will all be over. The child advocate has been going around talking to everyone who interacts with Tori on a regular basis. Most of them already know the situation, but I had to email her teacher and the principal of her school to explain why a child advocate was coming, so now they know how I had Tori. It was never something I thought I'd have to explain to her school."

"How did they react?"

"They were very supportive, and they've promised not to mention it to Tori's future teachers. They emailed me after the advocate came by and told me they gave her a glowing report on Tori and on us as parents, and they said Tori thought the advocate was another student observer from BCU, and no one corrected her. She was thrilled that the woman chose her to interview, and she talked her ear off about everything from dinosaurs to our upcoming vacation. The advocate seemed to love her."

"Great! I'm sure the advocate will give a good report."

"I hope so." Maura sighed. "Oh! I did what you said, with the reader who was angry that I cancelled my speech."

"You blocked her?"

"Yes. And just like that, she disappeared from my feed! It was such a relief not to have to read her toxic words anymore. She seemed to be getting angrier as time passed instead of calming down."

"You never engaged with her, did you?"

"No, not at all, though I had to stop Jane from making a fake account just to yell at her. But some of my other readers tried to reason with her, saying I must have had a good reason to cancel last minute, and it only seemed to infuriate her more. It was like she felt I'd personally attacked her by not coming. It was so odd."

"It sounds like she may have some sort of psychiatric disorder. There was nothing you could have done. You were right to block her."

"Yes, I'm sure I've lost her as a reader anyway. I'd rather keep the sane readers, and they seem very excited about my upcoming book."

"Good. That's all it's about to most readers anyway: the books."

"Yes." Maura smiled wistfully. "Books where everything always turns out right, no matter how wrong they have been."

~R&I~

Maura stepped out of her therapist's office feeling a little more confident. She always did, after unloading her feelings on Melanie, who was always so affirming. They had gone over her coping strategies again for if she had flashbacks or encountered the Harrises, and she was prepared to look forward to the positive events ahead, such as their beach vacation, Gianna's second birthday, and her next book release. She was even looking forward to the trial in a way, because she knew they would win.

She hefted her Birkenbag over her shoulder and headed down the street with a confident stride, her head held high. There was a natural foods store just down the street from Melanie's office, so she could easily pop in for some extra sunscreen and mosquito spray for their trip. She should pick up snacks, too. Jane could get a little grouchy if she didn't have anything good to munch on during a trip. The kids would need them too.

She was vaguely aware of a black car pulling away from the curb as she left the office and heading down the street in the same direction she was going, but she didn't think much of it. It was, after all, downtown Boston. Traffic was everywhere. She paused at her car, which was parked midway between the building that contained Melanie's office and the natural foods store, and extracted a few reusable shopping bags from the trunk. Then she hit the button on her key fob to lock the car and continued on her way.

That was when she noticed the black car had paused near her car and was now moving slowly down the street as she walked. She began walking faster, trying not to look back, but she could see the car in her peripheral vision, and it was definitely following her.

The second she reached the store, she ran inside and then peered out the window. The black car pulled over to the curb and stopped, but the driver didn't get out. Maura pulled out her phone and dialed Jane.

"Hey, hot stuff," Jane said cheerfully when she picked up. Clearly the knowledge that she would be lying on a beach next week had her in a good mood.

"Jane, someone's following me," Maura said urgently. "A black car. Looks like a Subaru. I haven't had a chance to look at the license plate."

"Where are you?" asked Jane, her tone suddenly changing.

"I'm at the store just down the street from Melanie's office. The car followed me from there to here."

"Okay. I just got Gianna down for her nap, but I could come to you—"

"No," Maura said suddenly. "I don't want you to come. I don't feel unsafe. I just want you to find out if the Harrises have a black car."

"I'll check the file Nina gave me with their basic info." There was a pause and a sound of footsteps, then papers shuffling. "No, they only have one car. A blue Honda."

"They could have borrowed someone's car."

"Can you look at the license plate without being unsafe? Or see the driver?"

"I can only see the outline of the driver. It looks like a woman, but I can't tell much about her." Maura took a deep breath. She was safe. She was in control. She was not going to let these people control her life.

She pushed open the door and walked out, looking right at the car. The driver peeled away from the curb and quickly disappeared into traffic.

"Maura, what are you doing?" she heard Jane asking.

"I'm trying to get the license plate. I didn't catch all of it. She drove away too fast."

"You went outside? Maura, what if she'd had a gun?"

"She didn't. She drove away when she saw me looking, but I couldn't see her too well with the glare off the car windows. All I can tell you for sure was that the license plate ended in 80, but they weren't Massachusetts plates."

"What were they?"

"Virginia. But we don't even know anyone in Virginia."

"I can ask Nina to dig a little deeper into the Harris family, see if they have any connections in Maryland. But you need to get home."

"I'll be home as soon as I finish my shopping," Maura said, turning back to the store. "I won't be long. I'm just grabbing a few things for our trip."

"Please stay safe. If you see that car again, do not approach them. Just get in your car, lock the doors, and come home. You're not a cop. It's not your job to chase the bad guys."

"I know. I'll be safe."

"I can call Frankie or Nina to come pick you up."

"No, I've got my car here!"

"Then I can have one of them follow you home."

"I don't need it. Jane, please, I'm fine."

"Okay, if you're sure. Just…hurry home, okay?"

Maura softened. "I will."

She didn't see the car when she came back out after finishing her shopping. She kept checking in the rearview mirror on the drive home, but no one was following her. Jane greeted her at the door as soon as she got home.

"I'm okay," Maura promised as Jane enfolded her into her arms. "I promise. No one followed me home."

"Good," Jane said, her voice brittle.

"Don't sound so worried. It might have been nothing. Maybe it was just someone who was lost. They _were _from out of state."

Jane pulled back and took Maura's face in her hands. "Do you feel like it was nothing?"

Maura hesitated. "No. The way she peeled from the curb when I looked at her…she definitely didn't want me to see her."

"That's what I thought. I've got Nina looking into it, but sweetie, you shouldn't have gone after that car. When you're alone, it's best just to get inside and call me. If something had happened to you…"

"Jane." Maura took Jane's hands in her own. "Being with you always makes me feel safe. But you can't be with me all the time, and I need to feel safe when I'm not with you, too. Can you understand that?"

Jane nodded, her eyes glittering with tears. "I remember how important it was to me to feel safe again after Hoyt, without a colleague breathing down my neck. I'm just used to protecting you. I always have."

Maura kissed her. "And I never want you to stop. But…I need to move forward with my life. That means not living in fear, even when you're not by my side. Please, just let me be brave."

"Maura, you're already the bravest person I know."

"Well, I want to be braver."

"Okay," Jane said softly. "Just remember there's a fine line between brave and foolhardy. I would know, since I've crossed it plenty of times myself."

"I'll keep that in mind." Maura smiled. "I love you so much, Jane. I'm just trying to get my confidence back."

"I love you too, baby. And I want you to have your confidence. But...I was scared. I felt helpless because you were in danger and I couldn't get to you. Can I just…can I just hold you for a while?"

"Yes. Of course." Maura pulled Jane back to her, and they just held each other for a long time.

**I hope everyone is well! And if any of you are not, I hope this update cheers you up a little. 3 **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Wow, a pool table!" Tori dropped her backpack and ran into the vacation villa's living room, peering over the edge of the table.

"What are you going to do with a pool table?" Jane laughed, lugging in two enormous bags. The way Maura packed, you would think they were spending a month on St. Barts instead of a week. "You can barely see over the table. How are you going to play pool?"

"There has to be a stepstool around here somewhere," Tori replied, searching around the couches.

"Never mind that. Have you looked outside?" Maura asked her, carrying Gianna on her hip as she wheeled a suitcase behind her.

Tori turned around and looked through the enormous glass doors. "Our own little pool!" she shouted. "And our own beach!"

"Yeah, Granny Isles knows how to pick a good villa," said Jane, a smile curling her lips.

"There's also a small playground around the side," Constance added, rolling in her own suitcase. "A swing set and slide. I thought the girls would appreciate it."

"Oh, we have to go see!" Tori cried, trying to pry the sliding door open.

"Me too!" said Gianna, wriggling down from Maura's grip.

"You can't go out there alone," Maura said, flustered. "One if you could fall in the pool."

"You take them. I'll unpack," Jane said, reaching for Maura's suitcase. "They need to get out. They're too restless from being on the plane."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I know by now what you hang up and what you put in a drawer. Go, get some sun. I'll be out when I'm finished." Jane planted a quick kiss on Maura's cheek and watched her marshal the two squirmy children outside to explore the villa grounds.

Jane was almost finished putting her underwear in a drawer beside Maura's when Constance appeared in the doorway. "It's so lovely to get to spend some time with all of you, Jane."

"Yeah, thanks for this," Jane said, dragging the kids' things to the next bedroom. "It's really nice to have some time away, especially with…you know."

"Yes, you two have been going through a lot." Constance pulled some toys out of Tori's backpack and placed them around the room the girls would be sharing. "How is Maura doing?"

"She's fine. I mean, she's a strong person."

"Yes, but how is she _really _doing?"

Jane blew out her breath. "She's scared, having nightmares. She knows we'll win in court but is worried it won't be the end of it. And she's got a psycho 'fan' now."

"She hasn't mentioned that."

"Yeah, well, there's enough going on without it. Some lady flipped out when she showed up to that conference and Maura wasn't there, and she's been throwing fits on Twitter ever since. Maura blocked her, but she keeps popping up with new screen names. Maura's had to stop reading comments." Jane sighed again. "And there was a car following her one day, which we can't connect to anyone. She's scared it's someone connected to the Harrises, but…"

"You're afraid it's the angry fan."

Jane nodded. "I don't want to say it. I don't want it to be true. But I've seen that kind of obsessive hate before. It's…how we got Tori."

Constance stepped close to Jane. "You will keep my daughter safe, won't you?"

_Unlike the last time_. Jane looked her in the eyes. "If it's the last thing I do."

There were running footsteps as Tori burst back into the house. "Mama, there are surfboards out on the patio!" she called. "Can you teach me how to surf?"

"Well, first I would have to learn how," Jane reasoned, picking her daughter up. "What else is out there?"

"Come and see!" Tori said excitedly. "There's a pool, a hot tub, a swing set, like a circle bed thingie, and lots of sand and palm trees, and boats out on the water! We can watch them all day!"

Jane smiled. "Okay, I'll come out for the tour."

~R&I~

A few hours later, Jane was sitting on the "circle bed thingie" on their private deck, rubbing more sunscreen on Maura's back while the blonde lay half-asleep on her stomach. The children were on the beach, Constance showing Tori how to build a sandcastle. Jane had to admit, her mother-in-law's sandcastle game was strong. Gianna had gone rogue and was building her own "sandcastle," which looked like nothing so much as a mound of sand with toddler-sized handprints all over it and twigs stuck in at random.

"I wish she'd played with me like that when I was little," Maura murmured.

"I think she's trying to make up for past sins by the way she interacts with her granddaughters," Jane conceded. "She told me she wished she'd been a better mother to you. Now she gets a second chance."

"I'm glad she's doing it. I'm glad she gets to experience this."

"I'm just glad our kids have her in their lives. I never want to see the hurt on their faces that you had when she wasn't there for you." Jane unhooked Maura's bikini top so she could put the sunscreen on more effectively.

"She's doing much better now. I feel like I can actually talk to her."

"I think your dad dying helped her remember what was most important."

"I think becoming a grandmother helped, too." Maura watched Gianna running through the sand with a bucketful of water, laughing loudly. "Look at our baby. It's like she never even had a hole in her heart."

"It's patched up now. It'll just be a story we tell her."

"I'm just so glad she rebounded so well."

"She was guaranteed to be tough. Think about when she was born."

"Yeah, the pandemic."

Jane shuddered at the memory. It had just been taking hold in Boston when she'd gone into labor. Only Maura had been allowed at the hospital with her, and by the time they were able to go home, they already knew about the hole in Gianna's heart. Maura had insisted their family go into full isolation, because Gianna_ couldn't _be allowed to get the virus. No one was allowed to come see the new baby, and since Tori's nursery school was closed down, they had to find educational activities to do with her at home while sealing themselves off from the world. If Angela hadn't been there to get groceries for them, Jane wasn't sure what they would have done. It was an unusual start to life as a family of four, but they had survived, and they successfully protected their family from the virus.

Still, Jane remembered the look in Maura's eyes when the call had gone out for additional doctors to help out with COVID-19 response in local hospitals. Jane knew that in another life, Maura would have jumped at the chance to help, and she knew it was hard for her to turn away. But with a newborn baby – one with a heart defect, no less – there was really no choice. She had to stay with her family. Jane loved her for that, but she also loved her for being the sort of person who would normally have risked her life to help others.

They had gotten through it, like they got through everything. Now Gianna was almost two and all patched up, running around on a beach in St. Barts with her big sister.

"I have everything I ever wanted," Maura murmured as Jane massaged the sunscreen onto her shoulders. "You, the kids, my writing career, the house in Beacon Hill…everything."

"Well, you deserve it," said Jane, leaning down to kiss Maura's cheek. "You've given me everything I never even knew I wanted."

"If we could just get the past to stop haunting us, everything would be nearly perfect."

Jane sighed heavily. "I guess life can never really be perfect, but at least we get to fight our demons together. I remember what it was like to do it alone, and it wasn't fun."

Maura tilted her head back and smiled up at Jane. "I can't think of a better battle partner than you."

"Likewise." Jane looked over at the kids. "Your mom said she would take them shopping tomorrow so we could have some time alone together. I'm thinking sexytimes al fresco sound good, as long as we can find a spot where those pervs in boats can't see us."

"What makes you think they're pervs?"

"Because they're riding their boats past our private beach where we want to get naked."

Maura giggled. "I don't see why we should wait until tomorrow."

"Well we certainly can't do it _now_."

"No, but we can go skinny-dipping in our private pool once everyone's gone to bed. I'll tell my mom what we plan to do so she won't disturb us."

"I feel weird telling your mom we plan to have sex."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Jane." Maura turned over onto her back, rolling out of her bikini top. She sat up, her gorgeous breasts on full display.

"Maura!" Jane hissed.

"What? The boat people aren't close enough to see me, and everyone here has seen me topless before."

"Yeah, but when your boobs are out I want to drool over them, and there are people here I feel weird doing that in front of. Like your_ mom_."

Maura giggled and picked up her top, putting it back on. Jane fastened the back for her in relief.

"Tonight," Maura said, "when the kids are asleep, meet me in the pool and you can drool all you want."

"And I'll try not to think about the fact that your mother is in the house, fully aware of what we're out here doing."

"That's why we _brought_ her." Maura smiled. "Well, and so we could spend time with her. But we also brought her so she could watch the kids and give us time to ourselves for sex. _Outdoor_ sex."

Jane cringed. "Yeah, but do you have to say, 'Don't look out the window Mom, me and Jane are going to have wild sex in the pool.'"

Maura chuckled. "Well her bedroom window doesn't face the pool, and neither does the girls' window, but all I'm going to tell her is that we're going out to have some romantic time. That's enough information for her to understand she needs to leave us alone."

"Unlike_ my_ mother, who needs everything spelled out for her," Jane groaned. "I know she wanted to come, but I'm glad we didn't bring her this time."

"We've taken other vacations with her. I need some time with my mom."

Jane smiled. "Yeah. It's been good to see you two having an easier rapport the past several years."

Tori came running up onto the deck. "Mommy! Mama! Come see the sandcastle I made with Granny! It has seven turrets and a moat, and I put seashells all over for decoration!"

"Sounds great. When can we move in?" Jane asked.

"Mama!" Tori said in exasperation. "Just come look at it, please. And bring your phone. You're going to want a picture of this."

Chuckling, Maura grabbed her phone from the side table and got up, grabbing Jane's hand and helping her up as well. "So do you think she'll be an artist or an architect?"

"An artist if Granny Isles gets a say," said Jane. "But I think that brilliant little mind could do anything she wants."

~R&I~

When the kids were tucked in, Maura went outside while Jane took a quick shower, wanting to get the sweat and bug spray off before she tried to get sexy with her wife. When she got out, she checked to make sure both girls were asleep (and that their sliding glass door was locked and barred; there would be no Maddie McCann scenario on Jane's watch) and then found Constance reading placidly in her room.

"I'm just going to go outside with Maura," she said awkwardly.

"All right. I'll stay here in case one of the children wakes."

Jane thought she caught a hint of a smile on the older woman's lips, but she decided not to think about it too much.

"Thanks," she said quickly before heading for the patio.

The only lights on outside were the lights in the small pool embedded in the deck, giving the water a haunting glow. Maura was swimming laps in that glowing water, completely naked. Jane watched her for a moment, thinking how much she looked like an angel, and then cleared her throat.

"Hello, beautiful lady," Maura said, looking up with a smile. "Are you going to join me?"

"Well yeah, that's why I'm out here."

"So what are you waiting for?"

Glancing around as if to make sure they were truly alone, Jane hesitantly stepped out of her clothes and walked down the steps into the pool. Maura began swimming towards her with a hungry expression, and Jane's first instinct was to grab her and pull her close, but at the last minute, she decided to play hard to get. Diving down under the water, she swam quickly to the other side of the pool. Maura chased her, laughing.

"If you want this, you gotta work for it," said Jane, pushing off from the wall and zooming past her wife again.

"As if six years of flirting with you over dead bodies wasn't enough work." Maura waited for Jane to try to get past again, and then she splashed forward with lightning speed and grabbed Jane around her middle, pushing her up against the side of the pool and pinning her there. She kissed Jane with a force that robbed Jane of air, but Jane found she didn't miss breathing. Breathing was overrated. Kissing Maura like this was so much more exciting than breathing.

Maura's hands began to roam Jane's body, searching out her favorite places: firm breasts, abs Jane kept in shape with regular trips to the gym, and finally, the heat between her legs. Her fingers deftly circled Jane's clit while Jane made her own exploration of soft curves and breasts. She lifted Maura in the water so that her legs wrapped around Jane's waist, and then she entered her. Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and moaned into the night while Jane thrust again and again, enjoying holding her like this, which would be a bit much on land. Soon she felt Maura clenching around her fingers, crying out softly, her arms and legs tightening their grip on Jane as if worried she would sneak off before the job was quite done.

"Oh Jane, I love you so much," she breathed.

"I love you too," Jane told her with a tender kiss. "And you can wrap yourself around me like that any time you want."

Maura grinned. "I might do it every night then."

"Please do." Jane noticed that Maura had spread two beach towels out on the circular patio bed. "Looks like you've made us a bed out here. Would you like to move there for a bit?"

"Sure." Maura pried herself off Jane, took her hand, and led her out of the pool, over to their makeshift outdoor bed. Jane stretched out on one of the towels, and immediately Maura's hands were on her, mouth moving lightly over her breasts as her fingers made their way inside. Jane lifted her hips to better take her in, gazing up at her in the semi-darkness as Maura thrust faster and harder, until Jane's eyes closed of their own accord and she let herself be lost in the feeling.

"Maybe we should just never go back home," Maura whispered as she collapsed onto Jane afterwards.

"I don't think they're gonna let us buy this place." Jane wrapped her arms snugly around her wife. "Besides, Tori has school next week."

"I know. But here we don't have to worry about anything. No court cases, no strange cars. It's just…us, our family."

"And we'll soak up every minute of it." Jane kissed Maura's head. "Would you like to try out the hot tub?"

Maura threw back her head and grinned. "I'd love to."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"The weather's supposed to be really nice tomorrow," Jane said one night in March, coming back downstairs after making sure the girls were asleep. "Maybe we could have Gianna's birthday party at the park instead of in our stuffy house."

Maura didn't look up from her laptop. "The house isn't stuffy."

"Not really, but we've been stuck inside all winter except for our vacation last month. It's going to be the first really warm day. I bet the girls would love to play outside."

Maura frowned. "I suppose we could do it in the backyard."

"Sure, if you don't mind sitting the guests in the treehouse. Is there some reason you don't want to go to the park?"

Maura hesitantly turned the computer towards Jane, displaying the message she had just received:

_Yeah, I'm still here._

_You think you can keep blocking me and ignoring me forever?_

_I'm just going to keep coming back and exposing you for what you are. You don't care about women's rights. You don't care about sexual assault survivors. All you care about is selling books and getting famous. You'll throw books in people's faces, but then when they actually want to meet you, you don't show up. If they want to talk to you, you block them. You're nothing but a fake. Have you ever stopped to think about how your actions make other people feel? I bet you've never thought about anyone besides yourself in your entire life._

"Maura," Jane said softly. "How many messages like this have you gotten?"

Maura ran her fingers through her hair, her lip trembling. "I'm not sure. Sometimes a few weeks will go by and I think she's gone, and then I'll look in my inbox and there might be several messages all sent in the span of a few hours."

"She can't seem to get you off her mind." Jane said besides Maura on the couch. "Maybe you don't need to be on social media that badly. I know I was encouraging you to tweet before, but it's starting to seem not worth it."

"My publisher says it's necessary for marketing in today's world." She looked up at Jane, holding back tears. "The entire reason I'm there_ is _to market books. I never pretended it was for any other reason. Is that a bad thing?"

"No." Jane put her arm around Maura's shoulders and hugged her close. "You're out of your comfort zone trying to promote your books the way your publisher told you to do, the way every author does. There's nothing wrong with it. This woman's problems aren't about you. She's simply made you the focus, like Alice Sands did to me."

"Oh, no," said Maura softly. "Do you think she'll become like Alice Sands? She could hurt you, or one of the children…"

"Or you." Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair. "She hasn't made any actual threats yet, has she?"

"No, just ramblings like this."

"Then let's hope she's just an internet troll who will find a new target soon enough. We already know those are a dime a dozen." Jane stood up. "Frankie and Nina will be at the birthday party tomorrow, and we can't stay inside forever just because some nutjob is taunting you on the internet. I think we'll be safe at the park. Just keep documenting everything, okay?"

"I will," Maura promised. "And you're right, about the park. Let's just set up far from the street, okay?"

"Of course. I'm not going to let anything happen to my girls."

"I know." Maura closed her laptop, setting it aside. When she looked up, she saw Jane's eyes full of worry.

"Is that why you're scared? Because I haven't always protected you?"

"What? But, you have!"

"No I haven't. I didn't protect you from Alice Sands and Joe Harris. You got hurt, while I was focused on the wrong thing."

"You found me when I was kidnapped. I was lost, wandering in the dark. He would have found me again, and who knows what he would have done to me then. But you came for me. You found me in the dark and made sure I got to safety, and then you killed him. You _killed_ him, Jane." Maura reached out and took her wife's hands. "And as much as I hate that his parents are trying to get close to Tori now, I'm glad it's not _him_. It could never have been him. You made sure of that."

Jane nodded, but Maura could see tears glittering in her eyes. She stood up.

"You're my hero, Jane, whether you like it or not." She slipped her arms around Jane's waist and kissed her soundly.

"I want to be your hero, more than anything," Jane whispered when their lips broke apart, her arms still tight around Maura. "From the time I met you, all I've wanted was for you to see me as a hero. But I also want to deserve it."

"You have always deserved it, in my opinion, and I'm the one whose opinion should count."

"I suppose yours _is_ the one that matters most to me."

Maura kissed her again. "I know you'll never see yourself the way I do, but I hope you never doubt that I see you as the fiercest, strongest, most beautiful, and most heroic human being on this planet."

Jane cracked a smile. "You_ are_ good for my ego."

"Good."

Jane pulled her closer and rubbed her back. "I wish _you _could see yourself the way _I _do. You'd never doubt yourself. You would know you deserve the best, always."

Maura laid her head on Jane's shoulder. "Well, that's why I keep you around."

~R&I~

Gianna ran through the bubbles, giggling, her dark curls bouncing on her shoulders. Tori dipped the giant wand in the solution again and held it up to the March wind, watching in delight as more big bubbles blew out, the bright sun lighting up rainbows on the surface of each one. Gianna ran at each bubble, popping them in the air. Maura knelt in the grass, snapping as many pictures as she could. She wanted to remember this moment for as long as she lived.

The park was full of people since it was one of the first warm days of the year, and knowing Boston weather, there was as likely as not to be a snowstorm next week. Still, they had managed to stake out their own little area around a picnic table. Family, friends, and neighbors talked, laughed, and played. Here in the sunshine, Maura couldn't imagine why she had thought she wouldn't be safe here. Who could touch her with everyone she loved around her?

"Here, I can take the camera for a while," Jane said. "We need pictures of you too."

Maura smiled and handed over the camera. "Thanks for talking me into having the party here. They're having a lot more fun than they would have in our tiny backyard."

"Don't mention it. We're both just doing the mom thing in our own way." Jane kissed her cheek, and Maura went to get a glass of lemonade.

"It's such perfect weather for a party at the park, isn't it?" Angela said, cutting off a slice of cake.

"Yes, it's nice to see the sun for a change," Maura agreed.

"Hey," said Nina. "I was able to trace the most recent message you got. It came from Maryland."

"Maryland," said Maura, breathing a sigh of relief. "The angry woman, she said she drove from Maryland for the conference. That's why she was so mad I wasn't there."

"Well, it looks like you're right to think she's the one sending the messages, and she's back at home."

Maura exhaled for what felt like the first time in weeks. "So she's not here. Thank goodness."

"Well, she couldn't hang around sulking in Boston forever. I know she's annoying, but trolls like her burn themselves out and move on to new targets eventually."

"I'm just glad she's not near here. I've been so worried for_ nothing_."

"Don't beat yourself up," Angela said, touching her arm. "You've been through so much. Who wouldn't be worried? I know Jane has been too, even though she tries to be strong for you girls."

"She_ is _strong, but I know she always worries," Maura said, looking fondly at her wife, who was taking a closeup of Gianna cuddling a new toy lion. Suddenly she stood up straight. "Where's Tori?"

"I don't know, she was just here," Angela said, looking around.

"Jane," Maura cried, rushing forwards. "Where is Tori?"

"She's playing over…" Jane trailed off, her smile fading as she looked in the direction she clearly expected Tori to be in. She stood up, lifting Gianna in her arms as if afraid she would vanish as well. "Tori!" she shouted. "_Victoria_!"

"Stop, I hear her voice," Maura said suddenly.

"No, I'm not going to come with you!" the five-year-old was shouting. Both women turned to see their daughter running up the walk towards them, Gianna's new balance bike abandoned behind her. Down the walk stood the Harrises.

Tori ran into Maura's arms and Maura picked her up, holding her tight. "I was just trying out Gianna's new bike," she said, trembling. "I didn't go that far, but all of a sudden they were there, and they said they had a toy for me and they wanted to take me to get an ice cream cone. I said no, I don't talk to strangers, and I ran back here!"

"It's okay, you're safe now," said Maura, kissing her on the head. "You did the right thing running back here."

She looked at Jane, whose face had turned hard as stone. "Hold my baby," she said to her mother, handing Gianna over before storming after the couple.

"Tori honey, I'm gonna go talk to them too," Maura said gently. "Can you wait with Aunt Nina?"

Tori nodded, wiping away a tear. "Please tell them to leave me alone."

"I will, baby." Maura set her daughter down and hurried off after Jane. She could hear Frankie coming behind her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she heard Jane hiss. "You have no right to approach my daughter."

"You had no right to kill my son," Joan said evenly, fixing Jane with her stare.

"Your son was trying to kill me, and he had planned on killing my_ wife_."

"But she wasn't your wife then, was she?" said Joan, her eyes moving to Maura as she sidled up next to Jane and took her hand. "No one knows for sure what she was to you then, or to Joe."

Maura shuddered. "I wasn't anything to Joe. I didn't know him until he kidnapped me and raped me, tortured me. I never…I never would have wanted to know him."

"I know what the official story is, but how can I know it was true?"

"Look, it's possible my son got a little rough with you," Eric said. "Sometimes guys get a little carried away. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. But whatever he did, it's no reason to keep us from knowing our only grandchild."

"We told you before, we'll stop suing for custody if you just give us visitation," Joan reasoned. "We can work it out like civilized adults."

"Sorry, but kidnapping isn't civilized," Frankie cut in, flashing his badge. "Frank Rizzoli, BPD. My niece says you tried to lure her away with promises of toys and ice cream."

"We weren't trying to lure her away!" Joan exclaimed indignantly, holding up a teddy bear. "I brought her a toy, and there's an ice cream truck right on the corner. We weren't going to _take_ her anywhere. We just wanted to talk to her for a little bit."

"How did you know we would even be here?" Jane demanded. "We didn't even know until last night."

A silence fell as the Harrises squirmed uncomfortably and it settled over the Rizzolis that someone they knew had betrayed them.

"Frankie," Maura said quietly, "who knew you were coming here?"

"Just my partner, Jenkins," he said. "We met this morning to go over a case we're working on, but I told him I had to be in the park this afternoon for my niece's party."

Jane looked at the Harrises. "How do you know Jenkins?"

"None of your damn business," snapped Joan. "Come on, Eric. They're not going to let us see Victoria."

"It's not going to look good for your case that you did this," Jane called after them. She turned to Maura. "I'm calling Miranda. I think this is enough to get a restraining order."

Maura nodded. "Frankie, do you really think your partner has been feeding information to the Harrises?"

Frankie looked livid. "He's never said anything that would make me think he knew them, but that could just mean he's a good actor. I'll talk to him and get his ass fired if I need to."

"It would make sense," Maura said slowly. "If they got the police report, they know what their son did to me, but it doesn't say I got pregnant. If they knew Tori's age, they just had to do the math to figure out when she was conceived. Our marriage date is public record, and it does look suspicious – had Tori been planned, there's no way we would have gotten married when I was eight months pregnant. The only thing we didn't know was how they knew Tori existed, but they only had to know someone who knew someone who knew us…"

"I'll kill him," Frankie said. "He's only been my partner for a year. We talk, like any other partners. I mention my family, my nieces. He talks about his family too. He never showed an unusual interest."

"Hey, we don't know for sure if it's him," Jane reasoned.

Frankie shook his head. "He's the only person I mentioned it to, that I was coming to this park this afternoon and that my nieces would be here. He has to have been feeding them information. He probably got into the file, found out the full details of Maura's abduction." He looked at Maura. "I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay, you couldn't have known," said Maura. "We need to go see if the girls are okay."

When they returned to the party area, Nina was sitting at the picnic table and Tori was sitting on her lap, clinging to her. She looked up when she saw her mothers approaching, Jane carrying the discarded bike.

"Mommy," she whined, reaching out to Maura.

"Come here, baby." Maura picked her daughter up and held her close. "Are you okay?" she asked, burying her nose in the little girl's sweet-smelling hair.

"I'm okay. But why do those same people keep following me around?" She pulled back and looked at Maura, tears streaking her face. "They said they were my grandparents, but they're not. Only Grandma Rizzoli and Granny Isles are."

"You're right," Maura agreed.

"So why do they think I'm their granddaughter?"

Maura sighed, casting a glance at Jane before carrying Tori away from the party. Jane followed.

"Tori, remember how I told you that my biological father is in jail because he's a bad man who hurt a lot of people?"

"Yes. You said that it's okay because Granny and Grandpa Isles were your real parents and they were nice."

"Maura, are you sure…" Jane began softly, but Maura quieted her with a look.

Blinking back tears, Maura looked up at the sky as she tried to figure out how best to put this. "You and Gianna both have biological fathers too, you know that, right?"

"Like sperm donors?" They had a book at home that explained sperm donors to children.

"Yes. You both have different sperm donors. Your sperm donor, as it turns out, was also a bad man who hurt people, just like my biological father. But it's okay now, because he died and he can't hurt people anymore, and Mama and I are your real parents, and we're nice, aren't we?"

"Yes," said Tori slowly. "So are those people_ his _parents?"

Maura tried and failed to swallow down the lump in her throat. "Yes. We don't know how they found out about you, but they did, and now they want to know you because they think you're their granddaughter. But your Mama and I, we don't want them around you because they raised a bad man, and you already have grandparents."

"I don't want to know them!" Tori cried, wrapping her arms tightly around Maura's neck.

Jane approached and rubbed Tori's back. "I promise you, sweetie, I will never let those people come closer to you than they did today. You will never have to know them."

"Can you make them go away?"

"Yes, I will figure out how to make them go away. Your Mommy and I, we will protect you no matter what it takes."

"They might not be nice people, but they don't want to hurt you," Maura promised. "And we have a nice lawyer who is working on helping them to understand that you're not their granddaughter and they can't be around you."

Tori wiped a tear away with the palm of her hand. "What about Gianna? Is her sperm donor a bad man?"

"We don't know," Jane admitted. "We don't know who he is. We probably will never know. What we do know is that we love you both more than anything in the world, and there are lots of people in this world who are not nice, but we will always keep you safe from those people."

"As long as you don't ride away on a bike without telling us first," Maura added.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go so far."

"It's okay." Maura kissed her cheek. "They're gone now. Do you want to come play with Gianna and our friends some more?"

Tori nodded. "Yeah, I want to go back to having fun."

"Come on then. You can race me on the bike," Jane suggested.

Tori smiled. "You'll never beat me because I'll be on wheels!"

"We'll see about that!"

Maura put Tori down and watched her run off to the party area with Jane. The partial truth she had given to Tori would not, she hoped, be too painful. She hoped it would still be a very long time before she had to tell her the whole truth.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Jane was waiting outside the station when Frankie and Nina arrived for work Monday morning.

"Jane, what are you doing here?" Frankie asked warily.

"I wanted to meet your partner Jenkins," she said.

"You can't just—"

"I'm not leaving, Frankie."

He assessed her for a moment. She tapped her foot, unsmiling, her arms crossed.

"Fine," he said. "I'll introduce you."

"I can't wait to make his acquaintance," Jane said with her fakest smile.

"I hope you tear him a new one," Nina said into her ear.

The Homicide Unit hadn't changed a bit. Jane snooped around her old desk, which now belonged to someone she'd never met, while Frankie sat down and booted up his computer. Nina headed into the BRIC, throwing a "good luck" over her shoulder.

When Jane spotted the desk with the JENKINS nameplate, she sat on it.

"Jane, you can't do that," Frankie said.

"Why, do I look too intimidating?" she asked him.

"You know exactly how you look. Jane, you don't work here anymore."

"So what are they gonna do, arrest me? I'm not here to make friends."

Suddenly a man came into the room and stopped short, looking at Jane. She jumped up.

"You must be Jenkins," she said coldly.

"Yeah, who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jane, your partner's sister." She hopped down from her desk. "How do you know the Harrises?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Avoiding eye contact, he sat in his chair.

"Jenkins, you're the only person I mentioned my niece's birthday party to," Frankie said with a sigh. "Joan and Eric Harris arrived at the party and tried to lure my niece away to get ice cream. How did they know where to find her, and when?"

Jane could see a vein bulging in Jenkins's forehead. "It's not right, okay?" he said, looking up. "Years ago, before I joined BPD, I worked at the corrections center. I knew Joe Harris. He wasn't a rapist."

"Maybe he wasn't when you knew him, but he became one the day he died," Jane said hotly. "You had no right—"

"No, _you_ had no right. I was at the funeral. His parents were inconsolable. They had lost their only child, and whatever he got mixed up in, it _wasn't_ his fault. It was that woman."

"That woman was at fault too, but Harris didn't have to do any of the things he did," Jane shouted. "My wife will be traumatized for the rest of her life because of that man."

"Look, whatever he did, it's not his parents' fault. They just want to know their only grandchild. She's all that's left of their son."

"There is nothing of that man in my daughter," Jane said, her voice hard. "How do you even know about her? Frankie, you didn't tell him Joe Harris fathered Tori, did you?"

"No, of course not!" Frankie insisted.

"He didn't tell me that, but he talks about his family all the time," Jenkins admitted. "I knew from the Harrises that Joe had been accused of raping your wife. Frankie mentioned how old his nieces were, and I did the math. A little research and I found out you married Dr. Isles one month before Victoria was born, and eight months after you killed Joe. It just made sense that he must have been the father…and if he got your girlfriend pregnant, that explains why you shot him. It makes sense that she would tell you he raped her."

If Frankie hadn't known Jane so well, Jenkins would have had a broken nose. Instead, Jane found her brother pulling her away just before her fist could make contact.

"Frankie, let me go!" she grumbled through gritted teeth.

"I'm not gonna have you arrested for assaulting an officer. How are you gonna explain that to Maura and the kids?"

Jane took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

"Yeah, everyone who worked with you said you have a temper," said Jenkins with a chuckle.

"My wife is not a liar," Jane said quietly, still struggling to take deep breaths. "You can call me whatever you want, but don't you fucking say my wife is a liar."

"Come on, Jane, let's go for a walk," said Frankie. "I'll deal with Jenkins later."

Jane allowed herself to be steered down the hall to the break room, tears clouding her vision. "Frankie, don't you see? That's what they're going to say in court."

"What is?"

Jane took another breath. "Alice thought me and Maura were already a couple. That was why she had Harris take Maura. His parents are going to say she cheated on me with Harris, then lied and said she was raped so I wouldn't be mad, and that I shot Harris for revenge."

"So what if they do? We have the hospital report that proves she was beaten and raped. Forensics also prove Harris shot at you right before you shot him. No matter what they claim, you can prove it's not true."

"This bastard is the reason those people know about my daughter. They're terrorizing my whole family, and it's his fault."

"I'll take care of him. You just need to take care of your family, okay? Get the restraining order. Jenkins won't be passing on any more information."

"How do you know?"

"Well for one thing, I'm reporting him and requesting a new partner. And once word gets around that he's a snitch, he's gonna be an outcast in this whole department."

Jane nodded. "You're right about that. His life is gonna suck."

"Exactly. It's not worth punching him in front of the security cameras."

Jane sighed, then suddenly realized what he was implying. "But?"

Frankie glanced around. "But, we were gonna go talk to someone in Southie this morning. I'm gonna let him go alone so I can meet with Cavanaugh." He slipped her a card with an address written on the back. "Last time we were in the neighborhood, we parked in the alley behind the building."

"Thanks," she said, taking the card.

"Hey, you didn't hear it from me."

She grinned. "Of course I didn't."

~R&I~

Jane arrived early, found a parking spot, scoped out the alley where Jenkins was supposed to be, and melted into the shadows. As she waited, she sent a quick text to Maura to let her know she was still sorting the problem out but would be home before long.

She watched the squad car pull in. Jenkins stepped out, looking down at his phone as he walked towards the building. With the stealth of a cat, Jane slipped out of the shadows and crept up behind him.

"Hey Jenkins," she said when she was right behind him. He turned, and she punched him in the face before he could register who she was. "That's for calling my wife a liar," she said.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he said, reaching for his weapon.

"Are you looking for this?" Jane held up his gun before elbowing him in the stomach, knocking him into a brick wall. "That is for feeding the Harrises information on my family." She took a step towards him, placing her arm across his throat so he couldn't move. "If you ever mess with my family again, there will be nowhere you can hide. Nowhere. Look up my damn record."

"I wasn't trying to hurt anyone," he gasped. "I just think it's wrong to keep grandparents away from their grandchild."

"Yeah, because your buddy Joe was such a saint, his parents must be nice people too. Her kidnapping was all over the local news, okay? When we found her, she was wandering in the dark in the tunnels beneath an abandoned hospital, her hands chained together, her lip bleeding from where he hit her, trying to find the way out while he searched for her. She was absolutely terrified. She went to the hospital and had a rape kit done, but she tried to keep me from finding out he had raped her because she was afraid it would break me, and holding it in just about broke her. She didn't tell me until she found out she was pregnant, but it was already in her medical report, which she had kept me from seeing. Joe did that to her. She developed PTSD, but she had it under control until a man who looks like the man who raped her started following her around, trying to get at our daughter. Now she's having nightmares again, flashbacks. Thanks to _you_." She put just a little more pressure on his throat.

"I – I didn't know all that happened. That doesn't sound like Joe."

"I don't think anyone knew the real Joe Harris. All I know is, when you father a child through rape, you don't deserve parental rights. She became my child when I married Maura, and that means my parents are her grandparents. Not the Harrises. They don't get to come near my baby, or my wife." She looked down for just a second, thinking of Tori's tears at Gianna's birthday party. Then her eyes snapped back up to his. "If they get any more information from you, there's not a damn person alive who can protect you from me. Understand?"

He nodded meekly. "I understand. Now get off me!"

She slowly stepped back, then handed him his weapon. "Have a nice day," she said before walking away.

~R&I~

"You did_ what_?" Maura exclaimed when Jane had told her a slightly sanitized version of how she'd spent her morning.

"I defended my family."

"Jane, what if he tells people you beat him up?"

"I said I _roughed_ him up. I didn't say I _beat_ him up."

Maura gave her a look. "I know what you meant."

"He won't tell anyone. He only joined the unit last year, and Frankie's now getting the word out that he's a snitch. Within a week he'll be so miserable, he'll have to transfer to a new department if he ever wants to get a decent assignment again. He's a pariah now. Everyone he works with is going to make his life hell. He's not going to tell them some lady punched him in an alley because his cop instincts weren't good enough to sense her coming, and he certainly won't want to talk about being overpowered by a woman."

"What if he tells the Harrises though? It's not going to look good at our trial!"

Jane softened. "If he tells the Harrises, they'll know I'm willing to do anything to protect my family. And they can't really bring it up without explaining that a cop was feeding them information that allowed them to stalk Tori, which isn't going to make them look good."

Maura sighed. "I'm afraid no one is going to come out of this looking good."

"Please, a mom who wants to protect her kid is going to look better than 'grandparents' who want custody of a kid they don't know any day." She gave Maura a half-smile. "You know I have to protect my family."

Maura smiled back. "You've always been good at doing that."

"It just pisses me off that they're trying to convince people you lied about being raped."

"Doesn't it also bother you that they're trying to convince people you shot a man just for revenge?"

"A little, but let's get real: if I could have found a way to get by with it, I would have killed the guy out of revenge, if I'd known what he did to you. I wouldn't let someone hurt you like that and walk away."

Maura nodded. "That's true."

"But for them to call you a liar…you never lie, and even if you did, those bastards didn't see your face when we found you in those tunnels. They didn't hear you screaming in the night for weeks afterwards. They didn't have to bring you back to reality after you dissociated and wandered outside without knowing where you were going. They haven't supported you through years of therapy or held you through countless flashbacks and nightmares. They have no idea of the hell you've gone through because of that monster, but I've been right here with you, and to hear someone try to say you made the whole thing up…"

"Jane." Maura stepped into Jane's arms and kissed her. "Just having you here with me means everything. I don't need strangers to believe me too."

Jane held her tight. _She's here now_, she reminded herself. _She's here and she's safe. He didn't kill her_. "Just the same, I'll kick their asses if they don't."

~R&I~

As usual, Miranda was completely badass in court.

"Your Honor, my clients have repeatedly asked the defendants to stay away from their family, and they continue to stalk them, appearing at random places and frightening the children. They waited outside Victoria's school one day so they could wave to her. They sent her a present on her birthday in spite of having no relationship with the child. On Halloween they were seen wandering the neighborhood, trying to catch a glimpse of the child. But they really went over the line when they came to Victoria's sister's birthday party and tried to lure Victoria away with promises of toys and ice cream. They claim it was not a kidnapping attempt, but even trying to talk to a child separately from her parents is completely inappropriate. My clients say Victoria was inconsolable afterwards. She wanted to know why the 'mean old people' kept trying to get her. This is why my clients are requesting a restraining order to prevent these people from terrorizing their child any further."

"Your Honor." Swinson, the Harrises' attorney, stood. "It is already unkind that Ms. Rizzoli and Dr. Isles are refusing to let my clients get to know their only living descendent, little Victoria, but this restraining order is completely unnecessary and is a slap in the face to two law-abiding citizens who have never attempted to harm their grandchild in any way. They have attempted to glimpse her from a distance, that is true, but only while walking on public sidewalks. They did attempt to speak to her at a public park, but any allegations of a kidnapping attempt are patently false. For five years they had been kept out of their granddaughter's life, only learning within the past year that they even had a granddaughter. The parents refuse to allow any sort of visitation. They just wanted to speak with her, to give her gifts as any normal grandparents would, not to lure her away from her family. It is not illegal to speak to a child in a public place, and if there are any laws against grandparents spoiling their grandchildren, my parents certainly aren't aware of it."

"Thank you, Counselor." Fortunately, the judge for this hearing was not the same one who was overseeing the custody case. Judge Peterson, a middle-aged woman, had a much better track record than Judge Warby, at least where Jane was concerned. "I'd like to hear statements from the plaintiffs."

Maura was called first, and Jane watched as she bravely told the story of what had happened at Gianna's birthday party. Miranda made sure she mentioned the part where she had to explain to Tori, in very general terms, who the Harrises were, in the process ensuring the judge knew the Harrises could only claim Tori as their grandchild by virtue of the fact that their son had raped Maura. She even touched on the trauma Maura experienced every time she saw people who reminded her of Joe Harris. Judge Peterson showed no emotion, but Jane knew her record: she was always tough on convicted rapists. This detail would matter to her.

Jane spoke next, then Frankie. All of them conceded that Tori had not been physically harmed and that the Harrises had not actually attempted to kidnap her, but they stressed their fear that the Harrises_ could_ have tried to take her and might do so the next time, as well as pointing out the emotional distress Tori had experienced. Judge Peterson then allowed the Harrises to tell their sad tale of missing out on Tori's life and just wanting to say hello. Jane noticed Maura refusing to look at Eric Harris when he was on the stand, and she held her hand tightly.

"As I see it," Judge Peterson said when all sides had spoken, "the law does not currently acknowledge Joan and Eric Harris as Victoria's grandparents, nor do they have any sort of visitation rights as of now. Therefore, any attempts to follow or speak with this child or her parents in person before the custody trial are out of line. I will grant the restraining order, which will remain in effect until the custody case is decided. Eric Harris, Joan Harris, you are not to come within one hundred feet of Victoria Rizzoli-Isles, Maura Isles, or Jane Rizzoli during that time. I will sign the order now and make sure everyone gets a copy."

"No!" Joan Harris shouted. "She's my grandbaby! I'm not even allowed to_ see _her? Not even across the street?"

"Mr. Swinson, please control your client," said Judge Peterson wearily, getting down from her bench.

"You people are wicked!" Joan spat at Jane and Maura. "You're liars, and you're wicked! My Joe should have lived to raise his little girl, and we should be spoiling her like normal grandparents!"

"Don't engage, just walk out with me," Miranda muttered. Jane linked her arm with Maura's and made sure she was between the Harrises and her wife. Maura kept her head down, and they all walked out of the courtroom together, Frankie following.

"Well, do you think they'll obey the order?" Maura asked shakily when they were safely outside.

"Who knows?" said Frankie. "But now I can arrest them just for looking at Tori, so I say bring it."

"Be careful what you wish for," Jane said warily, watching Swinson escort his clients away.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"I'm so glad you bought this house," Maura said, looking out at the tulips in the garden of her mother's sprawling house in Newton. "It's good to have you in the Boston area more often."

"I couldn't miss out on seeing my grandchildren grow up, especially now that your father's gone," said Constance, selecting a bottle of wine from the cooler. "Come sit down, dear. Dinner is ready."

The cook had just left, but Maura was pleased with the cozy dinner for two left behind on the dining table. She brought the kids out here often to let them run around the huge yard, but tonight they were just having an intimate mother-daughter dinner. Jane had thought it would be good for her to get out for a bit, though Maura had promised to be back in time to kiss the girls goodnight. Having so rarely gotten goodnight kisses as a child, it was something she tried not to miss with her own children. She wanted them to always remember being loved, boundlessly and unconditionally, by both her mothers.

Maura sat near her mother at the large dining table and took a sip of her wine. "Thank you for having me over."

"I need some time with my daughter. As much as I love to see Jane and the girls as well, sometimes I just want you. We didn't do this often enough before."

"No, we hardly ever did," Maura admitted. "And Jane knows I need it."

"Jane is very good at knowing what you need. She's a good match for you."

"I'm glad you think so. I was so worried you wouldn't like me marrying a detective from a working-class family."

"I'm not so snobby as all that," Constance said. "Remember, I was a bit of a rebel myself. Your father was merely a professor from a middle-class family. My parents wanted me to marry someone with status."

"It's hard to imagine you as a rebel," Maura said, suppressing a grin. "Most of the families we socialized with when I was growing up were from old money, so I felt pressured to marry a distinguished man from one of those families, not a plumber's daughter."

"I suppose it would have pleased your grandparents more, had they still been living when you married, but then they never approved of me adopting a child, and they often made comments about your career as if it were a disgrace."

Maura smiled. "I appreciate that you always supported my career decisions."

"I wanted you to have a fulfilling life." Constance's face turned mor serious. "Are the Harrises still obeying the restraining order?"

"We haven't seen them or heard anything from them since it was put in place. I'm sure they know if they do violate the order that it will be the end of their court case."

"You know there are ways of making this all go away."

Maura shook her head. "I don't feel comfortable paying them off. I'd still be looking over my shoulder for years to come, wondering how long it would take for them to decide money wasn't enough."

"And if you defeat them in court, how long will you be looking over your shoulder?"

Maura blew out a sigh. "I don't know. My only hope is that we can make the restraining order permanent if that happens." She sipped some water, needing to slow down her wine consumption since she had to drive home. "I've just never felt this kind of hatred for anyone. It scares me."

"Of course you feel that way, darling. Your child is being threatened. After I found out what Joe Harris had done to you, I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear Jane had killed him." She smiled wryly. "That's one reason why I don't care about Jane's background. I'm glad you have her. I know she'd do anything to protect you."

Maura smiled back. "I love her so much."

"Perhaps you two could use some time away together, without the kids."

Maura nodded. "We've talked about going away for a few days once the trial is over, just to the Berkshires or somewhere. Until then, though, I don't think I want to be separated from the kids, not even for one night."

"I'll be happy to take them for a night or two when you are ready." Constance looked at her shrewdly. "You know there are men in this town who are still loyal to Patrick Doyle."

"Mother, you can't be suggesting I essentially take a hit out on someone."

"I'm not suggesting you should do anything. One letter to Patrick and it would take care of itself."

Maura shook her head. "I don't write to him."

"You don't have to make a habit of it. Just one letter, perhaps with a picture of Victoria so he can see how much she looks like you."

"I don't want him involved in her life." Maura sighed. "Is it awful that I'm thinking about it, though? I'd never have considered it even to save my own life."

"This is different. This is your daughter." Constance put her hand on Maura's. "The only time I have ever wished someone dead was when they hurt you. Jane and Patrick have always taken care of that in the past, but Jane can't this time. That only leaves your biological father, and he may be in prison on the other side of the country, but he still has ways of making things happen."

Maura nodded. "I'd prefer to do this the legal way, but in the end, I will do whatever I have to do to protect my family."

Constance smiled grimly. "Just like any mother would."

~R&I~

After dinner and a pleasant chat, Maura got in her car and headed back into Boston. She'd gotten a text from Jane saying that Angela was doing story time with the girls, so she called Jane over her car's Bluetooth system as she drove.

"How was your evening?" she asked, just happy to hear Jane's voice.

"It was fun. Tori invented a new game for us all to play, but she kept changing the rules as we went along, and Gianna got frustrated and stormed off."

Maura chuckled. "What kind of game?"

"Something to do with spacing out pillows on the floor, then tossing beanbags in different directions and hopping from pillow to pillow while wearing capes. Gianna dramatically threw her cape on the floor as she was stomping away. It was great."

"I'm sorry I missed that," Maura laughed.

"So how was dinner with your mother?"

"Quite pleasant. She did suggest telling Paddy about the Harrises so he could get someone to take them out, though."

Jane laughed. "Your mom's not as prim and proper as she would have people believe, is she?"

"She's not a granny I'd want to mess with."

"Well, I don't think a mob killing would help our court case. Otherwise, I'd seriously consider her suggestion."

"The weird thing is, so would I."

"It's the mama bear in both of us," Jane said sagely.

Maura was nearing Beacon Hill, still chatting with Jane, when a woman on a bike rode out right in front of her car. She slammed on the brakes, her car loudly screeching to a halt.

"Maura! What happened?" she heard Jane shouting through the speakers.

"I think…I think I just hit someone," Maura said shakily.

"Where are you?"

"Commonwealth Avenue, near Exeter Street."

"I'll be right there." Jane hung up, and Maura grabbed her phone as she stepped from her car. She started to dial 911 as she walked trembling around the front of the car, prepared to give CPR if necessary, but no one was there. She turned her phone's flashlight on and looked around, then hesitantly checked under the car. Absolutely nothing. She dialed Jane.

"Maura, are you okay?" Jane said breathlessly when she answered. "I'm on my way. I called Frankie."

"I'm okay. There's no one here. I don't see anyone anywhere." She looked at the row of houses she'd stopped in front of. "I…she must have gone down Exeter Street. She didn't even stop when I almost hit her."

"What are you talking about?"

"There was a woman on the bike. She just rode out in front of my car from the park. I stopped as quickly as I could, but I didn't see her, and I thought I'd hit her."

"Okay, well, if no one's there, that's good. Probably one of those cyclists who never seem to be aware of traffic."

"Maybe…" Maura looked around uncertainly. "There's just no sign of her at all."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm almost there, and Frankie will be along soon."

Maura slowly got back into the car, still trembling, and carefully pulled over to the side of the road, turning her hazard lights off. Within minutes Jane's car appeared, turning onto the side street to park. Maura got out and ran towards her wife as she approached, seeking the safety of her arms.

"Hey, hey, you're all right," Jane promised, hugging her close. "Everything's fine. You didn't hit anyone." She kissed Maura's head. "I'm here now. We'll figure this out."

"Can you come look at my car, just to be safe?"

"Yeah. I've got my flashlight." Jane walked over to the car and shone her light on the front bumper. "Not a scratch," she said, turning the beam to the road. "Well I can see where you laid rubber trying to stop in time, but that's it. You encountered a reckless cyclist, but you missed her. I'd like to think you gave her the scare she needed, but if she didn't even slow down, I'm guessing she didn't notice. Probably had earbuds in." She rubbed Maura's upper arm. "Even if you had hit her, it wouldn't have been your fault, but you didn't. Everything's fine."

Maura nodded and hugged Jane again. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Why would you think that?"

"Maybe I only_ imagined_ the woman on the bike."

"Maura, you've never hallucinated anything before, so I don't know why you would start now. If you say you saw someone, then you saw someone. She's just long gone now."

"I've just been under so much stress with everything that's been going on, and my PTSD resurfacing…"

"I know, honey, but you're not crazy. You don't see things that aren't there."

Frankie pulled up in his squad car and stopped it with the lights on, getting out and hurrying over to the two women. "What happened?" he asked.

"A woman on a bike rode out in front of my car and I slammed on the brakes, but then she was just gone and I thought I hit her," Maura explained.

"But it's obvious that the lady's nowhere around, so obviously Maura didn't hit her," Jane told him. "So I guess we don't need you after all."

Like Jane, Frankie turned on his flashlight and examined the scene. "Nope, nothing amiss," he agreed. "You sure anyone was here?"

"It all happened so fast," Maura said, her chin trembling. "Maybe I just saw a shadow, or—"

"She was there. She just got away fast. It happens," Jane assured her, slipping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

"Have you had anything to drink tonight?" Frankie asked.

"Frankie, what the hell?" Jane shouted. "This is your sister-in-law, not some suspect. Get the fuck out of cop mode."

"You asked me to come here as a cop. I'm just making sure she's okay to drive home."

"I called for _you_ because you could work the cop side _and_ the family side. If I wanted just any cop, I'd have called 911."

"I had a glass of wine at dinner," Maura said slowly. "But only one, and I drank water with it, and I only had water while chatting with my mother for another hour after dinner. I'm certain I was okay to drive."

"Of course you were okay to drive," said Jane before turning to Frankie. "When have you ever known her to get tipsy? This is_ Maura_ we're talking about."

"Okay, okay. I'm just making sure. She thought she hit someone and there's no one here, so I have to consider the options."

"The only option is that the person she almost hit kept on biking and is still oblivious to her brush with death," Jane insisted. "Anyway, since nothing happened, I think we're okay to go home." She turned to Maura. "I'll follow you home, okay?"

"Okay." Maura gave her a relieved smile.

"You're all right. You just had a nerve-wracking experience," Jane promised, giving her a kiss before turning back to her car. "I'll see you at home."

"Thanks for coming out," Maura told Frankie before getting back into her own car. Taking a shaky breath, she started the engine and carefully pulled away from the curb, waiting for Jane to pull out behind her before accelerating to the speed limit. She breathed a sigh of relief when she reached Beacon Hill, turning into her own driveway with Jane right behind her.

"Sorry Frankie was being a jerk back there," Jane said as they let themselves into the house.

"He was just acting out of habit," Maura said dismissively, hanging her jacket up. "Still, maybe I won't have any wine next time I'm out."

"You're fine. You always stay well within your limits. Don't let my stupid brother make you paranoid."

"Thanks for always being on my side," Maura said softly.

"I'm your wife. It's literally my main job."

"I'm going to go tuck the girls in and let your mom know she can leave." Maura kissed Jane's cheek and dashed upstairs.

Once she'd given her daughters goodnight kisses and bid Angela goodbye, Maura curled up on the couch in Jane's arms, finally feeling some of the stress leave her body. Jane rhythmically stroked her hair while flipping channels on the TV.

"You feel better now?" Jane murmured.

"Yes. I'm just still hoping I'm not losing my mind." Maura unlocked her phone to send her mom a text letting her know she'd gotten home safely, deciding to omit the part about thinking she'd run someone over. Then she saw a notification about a DM on Twitter from an unfamiliar name. She hesitantly opened it.

_From StillAliveNoThanksToYou: Did I scare you, bitch? Good. Now you know what it's like to have the ground fall out from under you._

Maura checked the time. The message had been sent only minutes earlier.

"Jane," she said softly. "I don't think what happened tonight was an accident."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The annual Brimmer School art show was not an event to be missed. It was open to the public, and both current families and alumni attended, walking around to view the students' best artwork and bidding on their favorite pieces. Jane found it somewhat amusing. Sure, her Catholic school had had its share of fundraisers, but nothing high brow like this. Families came in wearing their best clothes and walked around perusing the art of five-year-olds like it was a Monet exhibit. Most people ended up just buying their own kids' art – as if they couldn't get it for free the rest of the year – though some alumni did buy particularly impressive pieces, usually from the older children. Jane had to admit that most of the kids in this school had better art skills by second grade than she would ever have.

Maura and Constance, however, were taking it as seriously as any art gallery, and Tori was bounding around in her nice new dress, eager to show off her contributions.

"Look!" she cried, rushing up to a display of colorful three-dimensional construction paper animals. "Mine's the lion. He's roaring!"

"I've never seen a mightier lion," said Jane with a smile, holding Gianna in her arms. The two-year-old was very squirmy tonight, but Jane didn't want to put her down for fear she'd never find her again in the crowd.

"No bids yet, so I'll put a bid of fifty dollars on the lion," Maura said cheerfully, writing down her bid on the silent auction sheet.

"_Fifty _dollars?" Jane spat out.

"What?" said Maura. "If someone outbids me, I'll just put down a higher bid."

"It's a lion made out of construction paper."

"That our daughter made," Maura said through her teeth. "And the money goes to scholarships for kids whose parents can't afford the tuition."

Jane had to admit that was a worthy cause. At $30,000 a year, she'd never have dreamed of sending a child to this school if she'd married anyone other than Maura, but Tori was happy here and undeniably getting a well-rounded education.

"You're a real artist now, Victoria," Constance said. "People are paying for your work."

"I know," said Tori. "Come look at my other things!" She led them around the corner to a display on the walls. "This one's mine," she said, pointing. "We all had to lie down on big pieces of paper and pose like we were dancing, and then our teacher traced us and cut the shapes out and then we colored them."

Jane smiled at the cutout of her daughter, which was colored in with all sorts of vibrant shapes and patterns in bright colors. "I like it," she said. "It suits your personality well."

"I think I'm going to have to bid on this one," Constance said, filling out the form. "One hundred dollars."

"I'm not sure I can afford the artwork here," Angela laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll make you a present," Tori said. "I'll make presents for Uncle Frankie and Aunt Nina and Uncle Tommy too."

Jane's heart swelled. She had been noticing recently that Tori was starting to become aware of the fact that the Rizzoli side of the family did not have nearly as much money as the Isles side, and the generous ways she volunteered to make up the difference were really sweet. She might be a child of privilege, but she was no snob.

"Uh oh," said Gianna out of nowhere. Jane immediately looked to see if she'd dropped something, but there was nothing on the floor. "Uh oh," she said again.

"What is it?" Jane asked her.

"Look." Gianna pointed down the hallway, and Jane looked to see Joan Harris peering through the names on a display of children's paintings.

"Ma, where'd Frankie and Nina go?" Jane asked urgently.

"I'll go get them," said Angela, hurrying off.

Tori heaved a sigh of frustration. "Them again?" she said. "I'm sick of this!" And without another word, she charged for Joan Harris.

"Tori, no!" Jane hastily handed Gianna over to Maura and hurried after the determined five-year-old, but Tori reached Joan before Jane did.

"Excuse me!" Tori shouted at her. "You're not supposed to be here! My Mommy and Mama went to court to make sure you can't come near me anymore!"

Joan looked around as if surprised. "It's a public art show, sweetie," she said. "Anyone can be here."

"Don't call me sweetie!" Tori shouted as Jane came up behind her, putting her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "I am not your granddaughter! I'm not anything to you, and I don't even like you! I never, ever, _ever_ want to see you again! Your son was a bad person, and I think you're ugly and mean, and if you ever tried to pick me up, I would bite your hands and make you bleed! I would _never_ want to know you, not ever!"

"You need to watch your mouth, young lady," said Eric Harris sharply, stepping around the corner.

"No, _you_ need to watch _your _mouth!" Tori shouted. "I don't have to listen to you because you're _not_ my grandparents!" She took a deep breath, drawing herself up for the final insult. "And you know what? I think your heads are full of poop!"

With that, she turned and stomped away towards Maura, who quickly took her hand and whisked her out of the building. Jane could see Frankie and Nina making their way through the crowd. She turned back to the Harrises, unable to keep from smiling.

"You violated a restraining order," she told them. "Your custody case is going up in smoke, just like I always knew it would."

"It's a public art show," Joan repeated.

"That you knew we would be at, since it's Tori's school." Jane's smile grew. "You know, 'your heads are full of poop' is about the lowest insult a five-year-old can deliver. You just got burnt."

"The kid has a mouth on her," Eric spat out in disdain. "If she lived with us, we'd straighten her out."

"Keep talking," said Jane, continuing to smile. "I'll repeat every word you say in court."

Eric frowned. "The kid sounds like she's a little bitch anyway, just like her mother. And just like you."

"Eric, don't say that," Joan admonished as Nina took her arm, Frankie moving towards Eric.

"If you define a 'bitch' as a woman who knows how to stand up for herself, I hope both my daughters will be complete bitches," Jane said softly.

"This will be easier if you both walk with us outside so we don't have to arrest you in front of schoolchildren," Frankie told the couple. Nodding to each other, they all began to walk.

"Tori's right," Jane muttered as they passed her. "Your heads are full of shit if you thought I'd let you touch my child."

"That's not how she said it," sniffed Joan.

"Yeah? It's how I said it." Jane turned on her heel and went looking for her family.

She found the girls on the playground behind the school with Angela and Constance, but Maura wasn't with them.

"Did Frankie and Nina arrest the Harrises?" Angela asked eagerly.

"Yeah, and I think their custody case is down the toilet now. Where's Maura?"

"She went to the ladies' room," said Constance. "I was just telling Angela how my lawyers could destroy the Harrises in court. I really think you should consider letting me bring a lawsuit, Jane. Make them afraid to come near you again for the rest of their lives."

"I'll ask Maura," said Jane absent-mindedly. "Tori, are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Are the bad people gone?" Tori asked.

"Yeah, they're gone. Uncle Frankie and Aunt Nina arrested them."

Tori threw her head back in relief. "Hallelujah!"

Jane laughed. "Where did you hear that?"

"A boy in my class says it." She walked over and hugged Jane around the legs. "Thank you for not letting them get me, Mama."

"I never would in a million years." Jane knelt to look Tori in the eye. "Hey, I'm really proud of you for standing up for yourself back there. You did the right thing."

"You're not mad that I told them their heads were full of poop?"

"Absolutely not, because it was the truth. Their heads are full of the stinkiest poop ever."

Tori laughed, and Jane kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna go check on your Mommy, okay?"

"Okay."

When Jane stepped into the small girls' bathroom, she found Maura huddling in a corner, her hands over her face.

"Hey," Jane said gently. "It's okay. Frankie and Nina arrested the Harrises, and Tori's all right. Your mom plans to sue their pants off."

Maura looked up. "Good," she whispered. "Let her."

"And we can finally get that custody case dismissed." Jane brushed Maura's hair out of her face and slipped her arms around her. "So what's on your mind?"

"I can't protect her," Maura said quietly. "She's only five, and I couldn't keep those people from coming near her, not even with a restraining order. Gianna's only two and even she knew they were bad people."

"Honey, it's going to be okay. They won't come near her again. They're getting booked now."

"But if they could get near her, anyone could. What if someone wanted to touch her? What if someone wanted to hurt her the way Joe Harris hurt me?" Maura's face crumpled, and Jane pulled her close.

"If they even tried, I'd kill them with my bare hands," she rasped.

"I know, but I don't want them to even try." Maura pulled back and wiped at her face. "Were we wrong to bring daughters into a world that treats women like this?"

"No, we weren't, because we're making a better world, and our daughters are going to be part of that world." She took Maura's hands and squeezed them. "Did you hear Tori telling the Harrises off? She really gave it to them back there."

Maura finally cracked a smile. "It was no more than they deserved."

"Personally, I love that they had to hear that from her. And I love that our baby is not afraid to stand up for herself." She gave Maura a kiss. "We're doing such a great job raising that kid."

Maura's smile got a little bigger. "There's no one else I'd want to do this with."

"Likewise." Jane grabbed some tissues and dabbed at Maura's face. "Come on. Let's go find our girls and buy some overpriced children's artwork like we came here to do."

~R&I~

The custody trial was only two weeks later, and Miranda was practically skipping when she led them into the courtroom. When Judge Warby called the court to order, Miranda stood.

"Your Honor, given that the Harrises are currently awaiting trial for violating a restraining order the Rizzoli-Isles family has against them, I move to dismiss the case immediately," she said. "The incident in question caused little Victoria significant distress, as is detailed in the report I have from a child psychologist her parents took her to, and we also have several witnesses who heard Eric Harris call the child, and I quote, 'a little bitch,' while suggesting he and his wife could 'straighten her out' if they got custody. Given the criminality of their actions and the implications of their words, we do not believe Victoria would be safe in their home."

"Counselor, do you have anything to add in favor of your clients?" Judge Warby said.

Swinson stood. "All I can say, Your Honor, is that my clients were motivated by love for their granddaughter, who is all they have left of their son and who has been cruelly kept from them for vengeful reasons. It is hard to think clearly when your only surviving descendent is being kept from you."

"Nevertheless, they did break the law during what was destined to be a difficult case to win already," Judge Warby pointed out. "Although I believe children are better off in traditional families and do not wish to encourage women to make false rape accusations whenever they don't want to share custody, the reality is that grandparents are rarely granted visitation in cases where they do not have an established relationship with the grandchild, and to gain custody, they would need to prove not only that the parents were unable to provide a healthy environment for the child, but that they themselves could do so. Violating a restraining order doesn't help your clients' case in that regard." He looked at the child advocate. "Ms. Brewer, do you have a statement prepared?"

"Yes." Ashley took the stand and unfolded a piece of paper. "It was my finding that Victoria Rizzoli-Isles is thriving in her home. She has two mothers who clearly love her and devote a lot of time to her, both of them having left demanding jobs when she was born so they could care for her. One of her mothers is a doctor and is well-versed on the developmental needs of children her age. Their house, located in Boston's wealthiest neighborhood, is clean, childproofed, and well-maintained. The child eats a nutritious diet and attends a small private school where she is receiving a world-class education that is almost guaranteed to put her on track to attending whatever college she wants when she is older. Her teachers describe her as lively and engaged, and in my interviews with her, I found her to be bright and joyful. She appears to have a love of life and abundant curiosity. She clearly adores her mothers and her little sister, and her mothers are both attentive to her needs and highly protective of her.

"Furthermore, Tori regularly sees her extended family, which includes uncles, aunts, grandmothers, and cousins. Although her parents are both female, she does have a number of positive male role models. I can honestly say there is nothing missing from her life. Every child should get to grow up like Victoria Rizzoli-Isles." She smiled briefly at Jane and Maura. "In my interviews with the Harrises, they demonstrated little knowledge of how children are raised today and indicated that they are strong believers in corporal punishment. They spoke a lot about their son being unjustly killed and how Ms. Rizzoli had no right to their granddaughter, but when I repeatedly asked their plans for caring for Victoria, they didn't have much to offer. I got the impression it was more about 'winning' than it was about giving Tori a good upbringing."

"So what is your final recommendation, Ms. Brewer?"

"I would recommend that Tori's life remain as it is. She is happy and well-cared for, and she doesn't need the disruption of grandparents she doesn't know coming into her life. It is also my understanding that there is incontrovertible proof that Joe Harris did, in fact, rape Maura Isles, and while I understand why this is hard for the Harrises to accept, I cannot recommend that people who accuse rape victims of lying raise a child, especially a little girl."

Jane squeezed Maura's hand. No matter how much time passed, those words never got any easier to hear.

"Thank you, Ms. Brewer. You may step down." Judge Warby turned to face the court. "It is my ruling that the custody case should be dismissed. I do not believe Mr. and Mrs. Harris have sufficient grounds under the law to demand custody or even visitation with the child."

"No!" Joan cried.

"Mrs. Harris, please do not interrupt," Jude Warby admonished. "I know the ruling may feel unfair to you, and I agree that you should not be punished for your son's crime. However, it has been made clear that your son did commit a crime in kidnapping and raping Dr. Isles, and legally she has the right to raise her child with whomever she wishes and to control who has contact with the child. I'm afraid you have no rights here. Case dismissed."

As soon as he banged the gavel, everyone stood up, and Joan Harris made a beeline for Jane and Maura.

"You are sick to take my only living descendant away from me," she spat.

"And raising her as one of those feminazis," Eric added with a scowl. He looked at Maura. "So maybe my son did get rough with you. You chose to have his child, and you have no right to cut us off from what's left of our bloodline."

Jane moved to pull Maura towards the doors, away from these horrid people, but the blonde removed her hand from Jane's and stepped towards the Harrises, looking Eric straight in the eye.

"I didn't choose to have your son's child. I chose to have_ my _child," she told him. "Do you know what my wife tells me when I have nightmares about your son? She holds me close, rubs my back, and reminds me that Joe Harris is dead, that she killed him, that he can never come near me again. She repeats it over and over, and every time she says it, I feel my muscles relax a little bit more." She smiled. "And the thought that your son is dead and gone is what makes me relax and fall back asleep." She turned on her heel, took Jane's hand, and headed for the door.

"Badass," Jane whispered in her ear. "This is where Tori gets it from."

Maura looked at Jane in surprise. "No, she gets it from you."

"Nah." Jane slipped her arm around Maura and pulled her close. "She totally gets it from you."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Maura's back arched with her orgasm, her thighs clamping on Jane's head as she lifted her hips to push herself as much as possible into Jane's mouth. Jane continued swiping away expertly with her tongue until Maura collapsed, completely wrung out. Jane slowly kissed her way back up Maura's body, lingering for a moment at her breast, before finally making it to her neck. "I love you," she rasped near her ear.

"Jane, I love you too." Maura wrapped her arms and legs around Jane, holding her firmly. She had lost track of how many times they had done this in the past few days, but she did know they'd seen very little of the seaside hotel they were staying at other than the room, and absolutely nothing of the quaint village it was located in (save what they had passed on their way to the hotel). With the Harrises having both been sentenced to six months in prison for violating their restraining order against a child and Constance working on a court case that would make them unlikely to show their faces anywhere in New England for the foreseeable future, they had just wanted to get away and relax a bit, just the two of them. They had originally planned on doing more than just sex with meal breaks, but once they got here, it became clear that was exactly what they needed. Maura was glad they'd picked a hotel with room service.

"I'm not saying we should get away from the kids more often, but having sex over and over again without having to worry about someone toddling into the room is_ really _nice," Jane remarked.

Maura laughed. "Not feeling like there's a time limit is also nice."

"And not being completely exhausted from chasing kids around all day."

"No, just pleasantly tired from having sex all day." Maura smiled. "We should shower before checkout though, because we definitely smell like we've been having sex for hours on end."

"Mmm. But sex _in_ the shower doesn't really count, does it?"

Maura grinned, running her fingers through Jane's curls. "No, it doesn't count."

"Good." Jane kissed Maura's collarbone. "We should probably take some pictures on the beach after we check out so when the kids ask what we did while we were gone, we'll have something we can actually show them and tell them about."

"Good thinking." Maura nudged Jane onto her back and began kissing her long, slender neck.

"Hmm, so you're not done with me yet?" Jane mused.

"We still have an hour until we have to go. I just want to taste you one more time first." She kissed her way down Jane's body, reveling in the firmness of her abs, the smoothness of her olive skin. She made her way down to Jane's heat, turning her body the opposite way of Jane's, giving Jane the chance to taste her one more time as well. She tenderly kissed Jane's wet, swollen folds, her tongue flicking out to slide its way up and down slippery labia minora, listening with pleasure to Jane's gasps and moans. Finally she went in for the kill, her tongue swiping and swirling Jane's clitoris, while Jane took Maura back into her mouth as well. The two women rocked together, Maura exulting in her intimate knowledge of Jane's beautiful body. The pleasure built up, intensified by the fact that each knew the other was feeling the same thing, and it was no surprise when Maura's ecstatic cries sent Jane right over the edge as well.

"It's official," Maura said when she'd finally caught her breath. "Sex with another woman is the best kind."

Jane chuckled. "I agree, but you've been saying that since we got together."

"Because it's the truth." Maura kissed Jane's shoulder. "But then, I can't imagine sex with _anyone_ being as good as sex with you. I've never gone this crazy for another person's body."

"I've never gone crazy for anyone else's body." Jane slipped her hands over Maura's breasts and gave them an affectionate squeeze. "But can you blame me? You're a fucking goddess."

Maura grinned. "So are you."

"So to the shower, then?"

"Yes, to the shower."

~R&I~

On the drive home, Jane reclined the passenger seat and closed her eyes. "I'm glad you're driving. I'm worn out."

Maura laughed. "I just feel like I've had a good workout."

"Which you have."

"Why don't you ever want to drive on our weekend excursions?"

"Because you always want to go to fancy places, and you're the one with a fancy car."

"I've offered to buy you any car you'd like."

"I know, but I like driving something more middle-class. It makes me feel less out of place when I visit my old working-class neighborhood."

"You don't feel out of place with me, do you?"

"With you? Never." Jane shifted in her seat. "I feel out of place in Beacon Hill, but never in our house. I feel out of place among the other Brimmer School parents, but never with our kids. And I feel out of place with the people at these five-star hotels, but never, _ever_ with you." Jane smiled over at her. "I belong with you. That's all that matters."

"You're the first person I've ever truly felt at home with," Maura said softly.

"I'll always be your home," Jane promised, stretching. "So what do we tell everyone if they ask whether our trip was restful? We didn't sleep much, but we also didn't get out of bed much."

"We tell them it was very relaxing. I don't know when I've last felt this relaxed."

Suddenly, it happened again: a woman rode out in front of her car on a bike, directly in front of her, and Maura had to swerve hard to keep from hitting her. Her car went off the road and bumped down into the ditch.

"Jane! Are you okay?" she said frantically.

"Yeah, I'm okay," said Jane. "Are _you _okay?"

"Yes. Did you see that woman?"

"Yeah. I don't know what the fuck her problem is. Why is she riding her bike across a county highway, and not even looking for traffic?"

"This is exactly like what happened to me before, when I was coming home from my mother's house. I need to see if I can find her." Maura got out of the car and looked around, seeing no one. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wouldn't be getting her car back out of the ditch without a tow truck.

"Where is the careless bitch?" Jane grumbled, climbing out of the passenger side. "If she's not hurt, I'm going to rip her a new one. She could get somebody killed doing that."

"I don't see her," Maura said, looking up and down the road. A few cars whizzed by, but no one stopped to see if the people in the ditch were okay. Nobody seemed to check on anyone anymore, just assuming they would call for help on their cell phones.

"I can't figure out why she would have been crossing the road anyway. There's nothing here but woods. Where would she have been _going_?"

"I don't know, but this is exactly how it happened before. She came out of nowhere, and then it was like she vanished." Maura began to pull out her cell phone. "I'd better call Triple A to get us out of this ditch."

"Nobody's calling anyone."

Jane and Maura both turned their heads to see a woman in her twenties stepping out of the trees, a long knife in her hand.

"Put the phone away and come with me," she commanded.

"Why?" Maura asked, slipping her phone back into her pocket as her hand instinctively reached for Jane's. "Who_ are_ you?"

"I said come with me!" The woman pointed the knife at them, and the couple hesitantly followed her into the trees. Once they were just out of view of the road, they saw a bike lying on its side with a worn – and from the looks of it, very heavy – backpack next to it.

"Nobody needs to get hurt," Jane assured her, holding up her hands to show she meant no harm. "If you just want money, we can give it to you, and you can go on your way. We have kids waiting for us at home—"

"You think this is a mugging?" The woman laughed mirthlessly, then looked at Maura. "You know who I am. I've lost track of how many screen names you've blocked me under."

Maura drew in her breath. "Christine? The one who drove from Maryland to see me at the conference?"

"I knew you'd been reading my tweets. But you couldn't be bothered to answer them, could you? Just like you couldn't be bothered to tell anyone in advance that you weren't coming to the conference!"

"I didn't answer your tweets because they were rude and abusive, and my reasons for backing out of the conference were personal," Maura said.

"Yeah, that's what they all say, isn't it? It's 'personal.' That's another way of saying, 'fuck you, I'm just a fraud who doesn't really care about sexual assault survivors. I just want to get attention for looking like I do.'"

"Christine, think about that statement," Maura said as calmly as she could. "If I wanted attention, wouldn't I have gone to the conference and spoken? Why would I have backed out?"

"I don't know! All I know is that I _needed_ you, and you weren't_ there _for me! And you are_ not _walking away from me now!" She turned abruptly and slashed at Maura with the knife, but Jane immediately jumped in front of her. Maura looked down in shock as Jane sank to the ground, blood soaking through her shirt.

"What have you _done_?" Maura screamed. She knelt behind Jane, taking her in her arms and examining the wound.

"It's okay, it's not that deep," Jane said, wincing.

"It's still bleeding a lot." Maura took off her jacket and pressed it to the wound, cradling Jane's head in her other arm. "Don't move. Just lie back and let me put pressure on it."

"Oh no," Christine said softly. "I didn't mean to actually hurt anyone. I was just trying to scare you."

Maura looked up and fixed her with a hard stare. "Well you_ did _hurt someone, so now you need to let me call an ambulance before she loses too much blood."

"No." Christine pointed the knife at Maura, who cringed at the sight of Jane's blood dripping off the blade. "No, you're not calling anyone until I get the chance to talk to you, like I should have done months ago."

"Then you'd better talk fast," Maura said sharply. "My wife is in pain. She needs medical attention."

"I didn't know she'd be here," Christine insisted. "I was just tracking you."

"Me? How were you tracking me?"

She shrugged. "It was easy, once I saw you getting out of your car at a store. I kept looking for you around the Beacon Hill area because you mentioned living there in an interview. I put a magnetic GPS tracker on the bottom of your car, and I used an app on my phone to see where you were going. I wanted to see what's so damn important in your life that you couldn't use_ one day_ to talk to people like me."

"I don't understand. What was so upsetting about not being able to see me at the conference that you had to make this big of a deal over it?"

"Maura," Jane said softly. "She's unstable. I'm not sure you can reason with her."

"No, I want to know. You've devoted your life to terrorizing me. Why?"

"Because I thought you understood." Christine's face crumpled and tears spilled from her eyes, but she kept her grip on the knife. "When I read your book, I thought someone finally understood."

"Understood what?"

"Your character, Anne. She was being targeted by a killer, and she was the one who figured out it was her stepbrother, who had raped her when she was younger. She helped solve the case, and she fell in love with the detective who was working on it. Everything you described that she felt years after being raped is how_ I_ feel. I realized I wasn't crazy. And the detective, she loved Anne even though she knew what had happened to her. She didn't see her as damaged."

"Who hurt you?" Maura asked quietly.

"My uncle. He moved in with us when I was twelve and he raped me over and over until he moved away when I was sixteen. I tried telling my mother, but she didn't believe me, just like Anne's mother didn't believe her. The way she still had flashbacks years later…it was me. It was like you were talking to me. But Anne learned how to be happy again, and to even be in love, and I haven't. But you said you had. You said you had survived a real sexual assault, and you were going to talk about it."

"I did," Maura admitted.

"So that was why I drove all the way to Boston for the conference. The time I took off work, it was unpaid, and I didn't really have the money for gas and a hotel, but it meant so much to me to meet you. You were going to talk directly to survivors. You were going to tell us what we need to do to move past it, to be happy again."

Maura shook her head. "I was going to talk about how _I _moved past it. I can't tell someone in one hour how they can get through their own trauma. It's really not that simple, and it's different for each person."

"No!" Christine sobbed. "You were going to help me. I needed to talk to you, because I spent years pushing all that pain down inside me. I even tried to tell myself it didn't happen. It's the only way I can survive holidays with my family, because my uncle is always there. But when I read your book and Anne's experience sounded so much like mine, it felt fresh again. I started having all these flashbacks, and I couldn't think about anything else. I knew it was real. And you, you made me feel all this again for a reason. You ripped the band-aid off so you can finally help me move past it. That's why I _needed _to talk to you."

"Christine, I'm sorry my book triggered you, and it sounds like you do need to deal with all those feelings you've been keeping inside. But I'm not the one who can help you. You need therapy."

"No, I don't need someone analyzing me! I just need to talk to someone who's been through what I have!"

"There are support groups. I talked to other survivors when I went to art therapy at my local rape crisis center, and it did help, but so has regular sessions with my therapist. I couldn't have gotten through it without professional help, or without my support system of loving friends and family."

"Then why did you even say you were coming to talk to survivors?"

"I was going to talk to anyone who wanted to come, but only about my experience, in the hope others could learn something from it. I didn't think I was going to solve anyone's problems; I just hoped they'd take away something that might give them an idea where to start."

"So where_ do_ I start then? Where do I start?" The knife Christine held shook, and Maura realized Christine's whole body was shaking, just like hers.

"You start by letting me call an ambulance for my wife," Maura said firmly. "And then you get help for yourself. See a therapist of some kind, maybe a psychiatrist, and start working through what happened to you, and how it's affected you."

"First I want you to admit you're a fake!" Christine shouted. "If you'd really gone through anything like what I've been through, you would never leave a roomful of survivors with no one to turn to, and without even giving any warning!"

"First of all, the panel was being run by a rape crisis center, so there were people there you still could have turned to. But secondly, I_ was _raped, six years ago. I thought I was ready to talk about it publicly, but I wasn't. I really wanted to do the conference, but the more I prepared for it, the more flashbacks and nightmares I had. I stopped sleeping well, and some nights I woke up screaming and frightened my children. I got so anxious the week of the conference that I finally had to accept I wasn't ready to do something like that. Jane took me for a spa day to help me get my bearings back, and I forgot to post anything to let my readers know I wouldn't be there after all. I just turned it off in my mind because I couldn't deal with it. I'm so sorry for how it upset you."

"Upset me? You ruined my life! I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted to prove to the world that you were a fraud and a liar, and I just wanted to know what you were doing all the time that was so damn important. I kept leaving work to come back to Boston, and I lost my job, so I came up here to stay. My car was towed and I didn't have the money to get it back, so I got a used bike. I've been sleeping in shelters, just trying to get up the nerve to talk to you, to finally talk to you…"

"Christine, you need help," Maura said gently. "The behavior you're describing is extremely obsessive. I can help you find a doctor to diagnose and treat whatever disorder you're suffering from, and they can help you work through your past abuse as well. Just please, let me call an ambulance for Jane."

"I don't have mental problems! I just need you to…"

"To do what, Christine?" Jane asked her. "Do you even know what you want her to do?"

"Shut up!" Christine screamed at her. "I wasn't even talking to you!"

"Then tell _me_. What do you need from me, Christine?" Maura pleaded. "My wife needs medical attention. We have two little girls at home who need us, they're two and five years old, and we've been away from them for a few days. I need to take Jane to the hospital, and then we need to go home to our babies."

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I just wanted you to listen to me!"

"I'm listening, Christine. I can tell you're in a lot of pain."

"Are you serious that you were raped? You're not just gaslighting me? Because I'm sick of that bullshit."

Maura nodded. "A man kidnapped me and held me overnight in an abandoned hospital. He chained me to an old, filthy bed and raped me, and then he filmed my reaction. I managed to get away from him later, but my hands were still chained and I couldn't find the way out, and he was chasing me. I had never been so terrified in my life. Jane found me, though, and she killed the man after he tried to shoot her. I never had to face him again, but he still haunts my nightmares to this day. I don't even know how I'd get through it without Jane." She hugged Jane tighter and kissed her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please, you have to let me help her."

"You're still going through it?" Christine asked, her voice suddenly quieter.

"Of course. I'm past the worst of it, but I still have rough patches. I'm never going to be 'over it.' A wound like that is something you carry for the rest of your life." She pulled her jacket back and noticed it was soaked with blood. She quickly pressed it back against Jane's cut.

"You want her to see _your_ struggle," Jane pointed out to Christine, "but you didn't even consider_ hers_."

"I thought…I just thought you had it all together now."

"I have a life I'm happy with. I have a wife who loves me and two children I adore, and they take up most of the space inside my head now. That doesn't mean the scars go away," Maura said evenly. "And right now, I'm really worried about how much blood the woman I love is losing."

Christine seemed to deflate, and she lowered the knife. "You can call an ambulance. But only an ambulance, no police."

"I will just call and tell them I was in a car accident and my wife is hurt," Maura promised, gratefully pulling her phone back out and quickly dialing 911. She didn't mention that it was standard practice to send at least one police cruiser to the scene of an accident, and she hoped Christine didn't know.

True to her word, Maura only provided the necessary information to the 911 operator, not mentioning Christine at all but stressing that her wife needed immediate medical attention.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked Jane when she hung up. "Do you think you can walk?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's really not that deep. I'll definitely need stitches though."

"Come on, then. Let's go back to the road so we can see the ambulance coming."

She stood up and helped Jane to her feet. Jane immediately lost her balance, and Maura caught her.

"I'm just a little woozy," Jane promised.

"Put your arm around my shoulders." Maura slipped her arm around Jane and slowly walked with her to the edge of the road, where she helped her sit down on the shoulder. She sat down beside her, resuming her pressure on the wound.

"You really think that if I get help, I'll stop having so many flashbacks?" Christine asked, following them out of the trees. Maura noted she wasn't holding the knife anymore.

"I think you'll learn how to manage them better so they don't control your life," Maura said. "And that's what I would have told you if I'd met you at the conference."

"I didn't think about you canceling because you were having a hard time yourself."

"I get the impression you don't really think about anyone's feelings besides your own," Jane remarked coldly.

"Shut up. You don't know what I've been through," Christine shot back.

"Yeah I do, you just told us back there. And it was wrong. You didn't deserve that." Jane leaned back against Maura, who held her close, keeping the jacket against her wound. "But being hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt other people. My Maura went through hell, and she's still the kindest person I know. They can only destroy you if you let them."

They all turned when they heard sirens approaching. To Maura's surprise, the ambulance was coming first. She stood to hail them and then helped Jane onto the stretcher.

"Lie down and don't give them any trouble," Maura ordered, noticing that a state trooper's car was pulling up now. "I'll be back in just a minute."

"Ma'am, we should look at you too," the paramedic said. "You appear to have a bump on your head."

"Help her first. I need to talk to the officer." Maura glanced back and realized Christine was wandering away, slowly so as not to attract any attention. Another moment and she would have disappeared into the trees again. "Oh no you don't," Maura muttered, sprinting after her. She took a running leap and tackled Christine to the ground, pinning her down in the leaves.

"Let go!" Christine spat out. "You said I could get help!"

"I hope you can," Maura agreed. "But first you're going to be arrested for deliberately causing me to crash my car and hurting my _wife_."

~R&I~

"Admit it," Jane said after showing Maura her stitches in the emergency room.

Maura smiled sheepishly. "I'm a badass."

"Do you want to know what I would pay to have a video of you running after that nutjob and tackling her to the ground?"

"She could have killed you. She could have killed us both." Maura shook her head. "I wasn't going to let her get away."

"It was hot. That's all I can say."

Maura grinned. "Well the way you jumped in front of me when she came at me with the knife was pretty hot too."

Jane smiled back. "You know I wasn't going to let her touch you."

When they went out to the lobby, they found Angela waiting to take them home, both kids in tow.

"Can't you girls do anything without getting into some sort of trouble?" Angela complained.

"But we're so good at getting back out of trouble," Jane pointed out.

"We're fine," Maura promised, kneeling to hug her daughters. "We might have even solved another big problem today."

"Oh really?" said Angela.

"We'll explain later," Jane told her.

"Be careful with Mama. She has stitches," Maura told the girls as they moved on to their other mom.

"Was it a bad car accident?" Tori asked.

"Not too bad," Jane promised her. "The car didn't get a lot of damage, and Mommy and I are only banged up a little bit."

"Can I see your stitches?" Tori asked.

"You don't want to see them. They look gross."

"Yes I do," Tori insisted. "Sometimes gross things are interesting."

"You are just like your Mommy," Jane sighed. "Let's just get home and then I'll consider showing you my stitches, okay?" She took Tori's shoulders and turned her around, herding her towards the exit.

"Yes," agreed Maura, lifting Gianna into her arms. "Home sounds like an excellent idea."


End file.
